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Book Review: Ten Things My Husband Hated by Pauline Wiles

Ten Things My Husband Hated

by Pauline Wiles

Amazon US / UK / AU / CA / B&N

Maggie Moone is happily divorced.

And with her talent for fixing things, she’s perfectly content with her mundane life in the sleepy English village of Saffron Sweeting. That is, until one humiliating March evening when she learns everyone else assumes she’d love to mend her broken marriage.

Determined to prove them wrong, Maggie and her friends concoct a list of ten ways to assert her independence and live large. But her mission to move on leads to unexpected encounters, and Maggie soon finds herself mixing business with pleasure. Is the attractive young Irishman just another item on her list, or is he something more?

Before long, unresolved issues from her past begin to clash, and Maggie is forced to wonder if antagonizing her ex-husband was such a stellar idea.

No sooner does she begin to understand what’s important to her, than she stands to lose everything that truly matters.

This is the fourth in the collection of Saffron Sweeting romantic comedies, which can be read in any order. If you like gentle British humor and deliciously resilient heroines, you’ll love Ten Things My Husband Hated.

My Rating:

Favorite Quotes:

 

Not only had I jumped the queue, I’d snapped at an old-age pensioner, and accused everyone of needing pills to help them poop.

 

It felt strange to hear my maiden name after so long. I probably hadn’t heard it since my wedding day, way back when Pluto was a planet.

 

‘I know you have a knack for it, but surely you’re not liking these odds and sods?’ She made it sound as though I was embalming corpses at the morgue, or cleaning public toilets.

 

Nobody in Saffron Sweeting knew Mrs Worthing’s first name. Everywhere you went, people accorded her the respect she demanded. She walked around in all weathers with a headscarf firmly tied, and her chin half an inch higher than it should be. The corners of her mouth, on the other hand, never lifted at all.

 

He shrugged, then wrote something on the clipboard. No doubt a secret acronym for patient is deranged.

 

I looked down, and recoiled in horror… I was an unmitigated dog’s dinner. My clothes were drenched in sweat, my hair was a hedgehog’s nest, my face was smeared with goodness knows what, and I’d wiped my nose on my shirt.

 

My Review:

 

This was my second time reading the crafty Ms. Wiles amusing words, and I believe she has become a bit habit-forming, as perusing her clever tales is something I would enjoy incorporating into my diet for a tasty treat.   Written from the first-person POV of Maggie, a rather wimpy and mousy jam loving divorcee who must have been a medical marvel as she appeared to be missing any trace of a backbone. I enjoyed the humorous storylines but wanted to provide Maggie with several brisk yanks as a form of medical intervention to dislodge her cranium from her backside. However, her friends hoped to refocus her energy and give her a kick-start toward self-independence by making a list of activities to be viewed as rebellious acts against her rather smug and self-serving ex-husband. There were a few mixed results and comical escapades along the way with a small village full of quirky yet oddly captivating residents.

I gleaned two new and fun additions to my Brit Words and Phrases list with: odds and sods – different kinds of things that are usually small and unimportant; and much of a muchness – two things that are very similar.   The UK saying of “odds and sods” seems much of a muchness to the use of “odds and ends” in the USA, although I’m finding odds and sods to be far more fun to say aloud.

 

About the Author

British by birth, Pauline is now a contented resident of California, although she admits to occasional yearnings for afternoon tea and historic homes.

Her debut novel, Saving Saffron Sweeting, reached the quarter-final of the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award. Three further books set in the same village are now available, along with a collection of short stories and Indie With Ease, a self-help guide for other self-published authors.

When not writing, Pauline can be found pondering how many miles she has to run to justify an extra piece of cake. She’s also fond of daydreaming about flying herself and a reader to London for tea.

Social Media Links –
https://facebook.com/paulinewilesauthor

https://twitter.com/paulinewiles

www.paulinewiles.com

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Book Review: My Mother’s Silence by Lauren Westwood

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My Mother’s Silence
by Lauren Westwood
Pub day: 11/11/2019

Amazon /B&N /Apple / Kobo / GP

Some things you can never escape. I should know. I’ve been running away for fifteen years, and now I’m right back where I started…

Skye Turner’s family fell apart the day her twin sister Ginny died. Everyone in their tiny community in the Scottish Highlands accepted it was an accident, but more than one person in town is haunted by a secret from that night…

Skye left after the funeral, believing her mother blamed her for Ginny’s death. Skye should have taken care of Ginny, should have been there to stop her falling from the cliffs that night. Over the years, she’s barely spoken to her mother, until the day she receives a phone call asking her to return home.

As soon as Skye arrives in her childhood home, she knows something isn’t right. Her mother has kept the bedroom she shared with her sister like a shrine, Ginny’s clothes and diaries gathering dust, as though her mother thinks Ginny might come back. And there are whispers in town that Ginny wasn’t alone when she died…

Skye is desperate to find out the truth, but her mother just wants her family back together. As Skye begins to unravel everyone’s lies, she realises the truth might tear her family apart for good…

My Mother’s Silence is a twisty and emotional novel about the bonds between mothers and daughters, and what happens when we hide things from those we love the most. Fans of Diane Chamberlain, Liane Moriarty and Kerry Fisher will be gripped.

 

My Rating:

Favorite Quotes:

 

‘What you got in there, lass?’ the driver says, bowing under the weight of my wheelie case… He sets my case on the pavement. ‘In my day, all we needed was a toothbrush and a change of knickers.’

 

I shut my eyes until the irrational sense of despair ebbs away. Regroup, start again. I’m good at making new starts. Not so good at making them last.

 

Somewhere in that deep, ever-changing water, there is a part of my sister: the atoms of her body, the life force that was Ginny.

 

She was like the child captured by fairies. There was a part of her that none of us could reach.

 

First rule of policing… No one wants to talk and everyone lies.

  

My Review:

 

This book was a stellar read! My Mother’s Silence was expertly plotted, shrewdly paced, and cunningly crafted from the first person POV of Skye, the sister who lived as opposed to her twin Ginny, who did not. The storylines were varied yet engaging and kept my interest keenly honed. I was immediately pulled into Skye’s vortex where I remained, absorbed, transfixed, and riveted to Ms. Westwood’s powerful and evocative arrangements of words. The writing was moody, swirling with atmosphere, lushly detailed, and densely packed with insightful observations and emotive inner musings.   I was taut with tension with my shoulders near my ears and suspected each secondary character at some point in reading. I was unwilling to put my Kindle down and deeply resented any interruption to my perusal. Lauren Westwood has strong word voodoo and a lifelong fan… unless she starts writing about zombies – I just can’t do zombies.

 

About the Author

Lauren Westwood writes dark and romantic women’s fiction and is also an award-winning children’s writer. Originally from California, she now lives in England in a persnickety old house built in 1602, with her partner and three daughters.

 Lauren hopes you enjoy her latest book, My Mother’s Silence, which is a dark, emotional journey about homecoming and family secrets. Your opinions are important to her, so please do leave a review.

Author Social Media Links:

Lauren loves hearing from readers, so if you wish to get in touch, please visit her website: https://www.laurenwestwoodwriter.com/, or follow her on twitter: @lwestwoodwriter  https://twitter.com/lwestwoodwriter

or Facebook: @Lwestwoodbooks https://www.facebook.com/Lwestwoodbooks/

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Book Review: Coming Home to Merriment Bay: Part One: A Reunion by Emily Harvale

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Coming Home to Merriment Bay
Part One: A Reunion
Merriment Bay series
by Emily Harvale

Amazon US / UK / AU / CA 

After eighteen years apart, reclusive Cat Devon still recognises her mum’s handwriting. Plucking up the courage to open the letter, its contents send Cat racing to Merriment Bay, the seaside village where she grew up.

On arrival, Cat and her teenage daughter, Kyra are shocked to find the situation is worse than expected. But despite everything, Cat considers herself to be an optimist at heart and Kyra takes after her. Looking on the bright side may not improve the situation, but it definitely can’t make it worse.

When clearing out the house that, even now, Cat fondly thinks of as home, she stumbles upon more than just memories in the battered leather trunk in Granny Viola’s bedroom. She discovers a faded photo of an RAF pilot, a pile of unopened letters, and a mystery waiting to be solved. Who is the man in the – clearly treasured – photo? Cat didn’t know her grandad. Could this be him? A man even her mum never met.

Cat and Kyra are intent on finding out. But that’s not all Cat’s determined to do. It’s time she came to terms with the issues in her past and made peace with her mum and her gran. All the while avoiding bumping into the one man she never quite got over … and keeping a few secrets of her own.

My Rating:

Favorite Quotes:

 

I don’t know how your mum stays alive because she clearly doesn’t have a heart.

 It’s like an inferno in that kitchen. But that might have something to do with Luigi, the chef. He could make my pot boil any time he wants, if you catch my meaning. I’ve half a mind to make him husband number three.

 So many questions and thoughts and fears careered around in Cat’s mind, but her lips wouldn’t form any words. Not polite ones, anyway.

 The expression on Mary’s face was one of abject horror. As if she had seen the four horsemen of the Apocalypse and they were heading straight for her.

 My Review:

 

Starting a new series involves setting the stage, establishing the traits and personality quirks of the various characters, and drawing the reader in with various story threads and my curiosity has been poked, nudged, and dialed to itch factor, as I’m impatient to know the secrets. What a tease that Emily Harvale, I would stamping my little foot and turning the air blue if I didn’t already have Part Two already loaded on my Kindle.

About the Author

Emily writes novels, novellas and short stories about friendship, family and falling in love. She loves a happy ending but knows that life doesn’t always go to plan. Her stories are sure to bring a smile to your face and a warmth to your heart.

Emily loves to connect with her readers and has a readers’ group in which many have become good friends. To catch up with Emily, find out about the group, or connect with her on social media, go to her website at www.emilyharvale.com.

Having lived and worked in London for several years, Emily returned to her home town of Hastings where she now writes full-time. She’s a member of the SoA and the RWA, an Amazon bestseller and a Kindle All Star. When not writing, she can be found enjoying the stunning East Sussex coast and countryside, or in a wine bar with friends, discussing life, love and the latest TV shows. Chocolate cake is often eaten. She dislikes housework almost as much as she dislikes anchovies – and will do anything to avoid both. Emily has two mischievous rescue cats that like to sprawl across her keyboard, regardless of whether Emily is typing on it, or not.

Social Media Links

https://www.facebook.com/emilyharvalewriter

https://www.twitter.com/emilyharvale

https://www.instagram.com/emilyharvale

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Book Review: One Week ‘Til Christmas by Belinda Missen

One Week ‘Til Christmas

by Belinda Missen

Amazon US / UK / AU / CA /

 B&N / Kobo / GP / Apple

Two people. One chance meeting. Seven days to Christmas.

Isobel Bennett is waiting for the number 11 bus when a man quite literally falls into her lap. Snow is falling, Christmas lights are twinkling, and a gorgeous man with dark brown hair has just slipped on ice and is now pressed against Isobel.

Isobel knows she’s not imagining the chemistry between them. But then his ride arrives and, embarrassed, he beats a hasty retreat, murmuring apologies – and Isobel realizes only too late that she didn’t manage to catch his name…

When she runs into him again the next morning, she decides it’s fate.

It’s a second chance for Isobel and Tom – but there’s only one week until she’s leaving London for good. Seven days of enjoying all the festive delights the city has to offer: ice-skating at Somerset House, mulled wine on the Southbank, Christmas shopping at Liberty.

There’s magic in the air and mistletoe in the trees – but what will happen when the week is over?

For fans of Josie Silver, Lucy Diamond and Marian Keyes, this is one Christmas romance you don’t want to miss!

 

My Rating:

Favorite Quotes:

 

I’m just like Halley’s Comet… Only I show up more often and I’m not as bright.

 

Most of my articles are written in pyjamas while I snack on a bag of jelly snakes and bemoan the fact I’m out of wine and too lazy to walk the block and a half necessary to procure another bottle,’ I added. ‘I’m surprised I don’t own seven cats and have bird’s-nest hair.

 

‘… my mother dressed my older sister and me in identical outfits. I remember once, my hair was braided so tightly I suspect it was also my first foray into cosmetic surgery.’ It was also the same year my sister ripped the head off my new Barbie doll, about three minutes after I’d unwrapped the box. She liked it more than the one she’d received. She wanted it. I didn’t give it up without a fight. Hence, Decapitation Barbie became a thing. We superglued her head back on, but she was a little stiff after that.

 

I felt my throat close and my words wobble around like a drunk on a trampoline.

 

Considering how bloody sardonic and deadpan you are most of the time, it becomes really noticeable when all he has to do is orbit somewhere in your direction and you light up like a Griswold Christmas.

 

My Review:

 

A handsome man had Isobel in a puddle on first sight, no not like that, an actual puddle with water. Tom had accidentally knocked her into the gutter but he was gloriously handsome, and she was so stunned she couldn’t even complain about being wet or within inches of being run over by a bus. Wow, talk about making a brain searing first impression. This was a slow burn and sweet four-star romance with top-shelf five-star humor as well as an off the beaten path London travelogue.   I am itching to dust off my passport for the butter grog alone, I Googled it. The pleasantly entertaining storylines were light, easy to follow, and featured a sweet romance peppered with clever levity, interesting characters, witty banter, career angst, and a taste of family drama. I adore Belinda Missen and covet her quick wit and comedic wordplay.

About the Author

Author and sometimes foodie, Belinda is a ridiculous romantic who met her husband after being set up by a friend two states away.

Residing in country Victoria, surrounded by books, cat-fur, and half-eaten cake, Belinda divides her days between writing rom-coms, baking, and indulging her love of comic books.

Social Media Links 

www.belindamissen.com

facebook.com/BelindaMissen

twitter.com/belinda_missen

Instagram @belinda_missen

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Book Review: A Christmas Kiss (Life on the Moors #4) by Eliza J. Scott

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A Christmas Kiss

Life on the Moors #4

by Eliza J. Scott

 

Amazon US / UK / AU / CA

A sparkling festive romance that will warm your heart this Christmas.

The week before Christmas, GP Zander Gillespie finds his festive plans in tatters. He’s supposed to be flying out to his parents’ chateau in Carcassonne with his high-maintenance girlfriend, Melissa. But she has other ideas. She wants to spend Christmas in London with her party friends – and he’s not invited. The prospect of facing his family, with their questions and their sympathy – not to mention the ‘I told you so-s’ – just isn’t an option. Instead, Zander decides to head to his holiday cottage in the quaint moorland village of Lytell Stangdale, where he intends to hide away with his faithful rescue Labrador Alf.

Eighty miles away, Livvie’s world has come crashing down. With plans to cook a romantic meal for her boyfriend, she heads home early and walks in on him in a compromising position with their neighbor. Fed-up of his lies and philandering ways, this is the final straw. With her Christmas plans up in smoke, the thought of spending it with her parents and her smug, married sister with her pompous husband in tow, is enough to bring Livvie out in hives. So, when she fires up her laptop and finds the perfect little holiday cottage in Lytell Stangdale available to rent over the festive period, it seems the perfect solution. Or is it…?

Zander didn’t believe in love at first sight until he set eyes on Livvie. Livvie had sworn off men until she met Zander. The pair may be reluctant to give in to temptation, but fate seems to have other ideas…

Join Livvie and Zander – and all the usual characters – for a magical Christmas in Lytell Stangdale.

The perfect cozy read to snuggle up with this Christmas

 

My Rating:

Favorite Quotes:

 

Zander struggled not to laugh at Mary who was dressed as Madonna complete with a pair of the largest conical breasts he’d ever seen… ‘They’re more like traffic cones.’ ‘Mind where you’re pointing them things, Mary, you’ll have someone’s eye out,’ Jimby said, chuckling. ‘Aye, they’re like a couple of nuclear weapons, Big M,’ said Camm.

 

‘And who’s this bonny lass here, then?’ Gerald asked, eyeing Livvie up and down. He reached into the pocket of his skin-tight leopard-print leggings and pulled out a pair of false teeth, popping them into his mouth with a rattle. Molly leaned in to Livvie. ‘And there was me thinking he was pleased to see me.’ Livvie did her best to suppress a giggle. ‘Ah, you can always tell when he spots a bonny lass; the teeth go straight in.’ Mary put her hands on her generous hips and rolled her eyes.

 

‘Granny Aggie.’ ‘Yep, it’s Granny bloody Aggie; up to her usual with the vicar.’ ‘Sounds ominous,’ said Zander. ‘You’ve no idea,’ said Jimby. ‘What’s she said now, Moll?’ Molly sighed. ‘You know how she’s been feeding that stray cat?’ ‘Yes.’ Rosie looked worried. ‘Oh, God, I think I know what’s coming next,’ said Violet. ‘Well, she’s only gone and sent Rev Nev a text telling him that she has a lovely pussy and asked him if he wants to go and stroke it. Told him it purrs if he does it gently.’… ‘Please tell me she’s done that in innocence.’ Molly snorted. ‘Like bugger she has; the wicked old bat knows exactly what she’s doing, pretends it’s innocent though.’

 

My Review:

 

This was a delightfully fun and deftly written book with a few absorbing and intriguing dashes of vile and villainous behaviors.   The premise was entertaining, the storylines were humorous and impeccably well-crafted, and the nimble writing was easy to fall into yet cunningly perceptive, cleverly witty, and comically detailed. I wore a near-constant and gleeful smirk while reading and barked out a few chuckles and giggle-snorts as well. Eliza J. Scott has discovered the recipe for the secret sauce and has generously applied her savvy word magic throughout this divinely entertaining and effortless read.

Two city dwellers find themselves thrown together in a quaint and quirky little village inhabited by the most supremely odd yet uniquely appealing, thoughtful, humorous, and pleasantly beguiling residents. The extremely likable two main characters were strangers yet they were immediately comfortable with each other. They were both unexpectedly taking a last-minute separate holiday away from their own unpleasant and dissatisfactory relationships, which had reached their expiration date.   A computer glitch and inclement weather found them sharing a holiday cottage as well as snow and ice adventures, village holiday fun, dispiriting and cringe-worthy ex moments, a precious rescued Labrador, an instant kinship and rapidly blossoming yet tacit attraction, and a hilarious 80’s theme party with an elderly woman dressed as the conically corseted Madonna. I may now be Ms. Scott’s most fervent and rabid fan for that diabolically clever scene alone.

I found treasure with several exciting new additions for my Brit Word List with aud mucker – old friend; nithered – very cold; and skew-whiff – crocked or twisted to one side.

About the Author

Eliza lives in a 17th-century
cottage on the edge of a village in the North Yorkshire Moors with her husband, their two daughters and two mischievous black Labradors. When she’s not writing, she can usually be found with her nose in a book/glued to her Kindle or working in her garden. Eliza also enjoys bracing walks in the countryside, rounded off by a visit to a teashop where she can indulge in another two of her favorite things: tea and cake.

Eliza is inspired by her beautiful surroundings and loves to write heart-warming stories with happy endings.

Social Media Links 

Twitter: Eliza J Scott – @ElizaJScott1

Instagram: Eliza J Scott – @elizajscott

Facebook: Eliza J Scott – @elizajscottauthor

Blog: www.elizajscott.com

Goodreads: www.goodreads.com/ElizaJScott

Bookbub: www.bookbub.com/authors/eliza-j-scott

Amazon Author Page: UK: www.amazon.co.uk/Eliza-J-Scott/e/B07DMQWPMH

US: www.amazon.com/Eliza-J-Scott/e/B07DMQWPMH

 

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Book Review: Stud Muffin by Jiffy Kate

DB02-BTBANNER-SBPR

It’s hard to get revenge without getting a rap sheet.

Stud Muffin, an all-new friends-to-lovers standalone romance from Jiffy Kate, is available now!

20190718_DB02_Stud Muffin_Kate_KDP_FINAL

 

After Tempest Cassidy walks in on her husband banging her high school nemesis, her whole world gets turned upside down. She goes from being known as the Duchess of Muffins to the town crazy. Her new MO: revenge. Eventually, Tempest grows weary being arrested. Yet what choice does she have? If she’s not angry, then she’s simply . . . sad.

Just as she decides to get her life back on track, in walks Cage Erickson, the new bouncer at the local strip club. He’s scary-handsome and the polar opposite of her ex. She’s attracted to him, but she’s not looking for a rebound. He’s attracted to her, but he’s not looking for a serious relationship. So, they agree to be friends.

But when lines get blurred in the friend zone, will they both get burned? Or will it be a TKO?

‘Stud Muffin’ is a full-length contemporary romantic comedy, can be read as a standalone, and is book#2 in the Donner Bakery series, Green Valley World, Penny Reid Book Universe.

Copy of DB02-LIVE

Download your copy today!

Amazon: https://amzn.to/35TdNQh

AppleBooks: https://apple.co/2lWf2eJ

Amazon Worldwide: http://mybook.to/StudMuffin

Google Play: http://bit.ly/2kkIo6o

Amazon Paperback: https://amzn.to/2khZoKt

Add to GoodReads: http://bit.ly/2m25z5P

My Rating:

Favorite Quotes:

 

I don’t want to be a person with a rap sheet. Orange is not a good color on me.

 

Anna will kick my ass when she finds out, and don’t say she won’t find out because we both know that’s a lie. Nobody gossips like the barflies and the Baptists.

 

First of all, Cage is not scary looking… Just because the men around here walk hunched over, dragging their knuckles like their Neanderthal forefathers, doesn’t mean it’s wrong to be tall. He can’t help it.

 

“That cucumber,” he says, pointing to my hands. “You’ve been squeezing it for a few minutes now. If it’s not firm enough, I can maybe go to the back and see if we have any fresh off the truck.” It’s then I realize Johnny works here at the grocery store and I have a large cucumber in my hands… stroking it. When did I get to the produce section? And when did the produce section get so erotic? Is it hot in here? … What am I here for again?

 

She’s the incarnation of Satan. Asher and Mindy aren’t going to have a bouncing bundle of joy, they’re going to have a devil love child. I should alert the media. This has a horror movie written all over it.

 

I thought it was fictional, something women made up or only happened in pornos… I’m Jell-O. My bones have turned to mush and I’ll have to spend the rest of my days just oozing through life… Here lies Tempest Cassidy. It took twenty-eight years, but she finally found out what it was like to have multiple orgasms and cunnilingus. And then she died.

 

My Review:

 

I giggle-snorted, smirked, and laughed aloud while reading this wittily penned tale. I am new to the dynamic duo of Jiffy Kate, silly me, where I have been?   Their writing style was seamless, cleverly amusing, comically descriptive, keenly observant, and sharply honed to conjure sharp visuals that had me bouncing in my chair with gleeful delight.

Tempest, the Donner Bakery’s Duchess of Muffins, has gone off the rails, she seemed to have lost control of her temper after catching her husband in bed with her high school nemesis; I would imagine that certainly would do it for me too. Her vindictive acts of retribution were landing her in jail, racking up $$ in fines, and landed her in anger management.   Her ex seemed to have ended up with all the friends but luckily for her, Tempest was befriended by a gorgeously handsome and well-sculpted new resident. Cage was a retired UFC fighter turned strip club bouncer – and he soon had her back, much to Tempest’s pious Bible banging mother’s horror.

Having been raised in a small, inbred town in the South, as well as surviving a ridiculously and stridently religious mother myself, I totally identified with the narrow-minded and petty small community complications and issues Tempest was floundering with. While I empathized with her plight, I frequently wanted to give her a few good kicks to dislodge her cranium from her colon. I was besotted and enamored with the sexy Cage; he was not at all what I would have expected from an MMA fighter, as he was highly intelligent, insightful, tenderhearted, patient, and my new BBF. Of course, being that he was perfect, he was like a unicorn and the type of man that could only exist on my Kindle.

 

 

Excerpt

As Mindy gets closer, she begins rubbing her hand over her belly, ensuring I know she’s with spawn, I mean, child. How far along is she anyway? The picnic wasn’t that long ago and she didn’t look pregnant then, did she? Maybe she did, but I was too shocked by the ring on her finger to notice? My mother would’ve said something to me when she broke the news about Mindy and Asher being married, so she must not have noticed either.

 

Maybe she just carries big… and early. Maybe she’s pregnant with multiples. That would be rich—I can’t even get pregnant with one, but Mindy Mitchell, husband stealer extraordinaire, can have my husband and all the babies.

 

All I know is that I have to stop gawking because Mindy is enjoying this way too much.

 

“Hey, Tempest. Soup for one, I presume?” Her smile is wide and condescending as she glances at the contents of my shopping cart.

 

Bitch.

 

“You know, I’ve been so busy lately that canned soup is all I have time for some nights. It’s not always the healthiest option, with all that sodium, but I’m fortunate to not retain water, like you obviously do.”

 

Really, Tempest? Is that the best put-down you can think of?

 

“I’m not bloated, silly.” She laughs, swatting the air in front of her face. “I’m pregnant! Of course, I don’t expect you to notice the difference.”

 

It’s illegal to hit a pregnant lady, Tempest.

 

She’s not worth the jail time.

 

Deep, cleansing breaths.

 

You don’t look good in orange.

 

“How far along are you?” I ask, willing myself to stay calm. “Elephants are pregnant, for what, two years?” I know I’m being immature, but I’m using my words and not my fists, so I’m calling it a win.

 

“Gah, you’re such a bitch. No wonder Asher wanted to leave you. At least I was able to give him what he wanted,” she brags, rubbing her belly even faster than before.

 

Maybe if she rubs a little more, a fucking genie will pop out, and I can at least get three wishes out of this deal. Wish one: Asher and Mindy disappear off the face of the planet.

 

“And,” she continues, “because I know it’s driving you crazy, I’ll let you in on the secret. I’m in my third trimester.” She smiles and squeals, like we’re BFFs and she just told me the best news. “Just a couple more months to go and this precious bundle of joy will be in the world… Asher is going to be such a great daddy.”

 

The blood drains from my face as I do the math in my head. Asher and I have been divorced for almost two months. I found them in bed together three months before that. Two plus three does not equal the amount of months it takes to be in the third trimester. I know my pregnancy facts.

 

Mindy just answered one of my many burning questions: that sack of shit was cheating on me months before I busted him.

 

And now, he’s having a baby with someone else.

 

Honestly, I don’t know how to feel right now… numb, blind-sided, furious, hurt?

 

All I know is I’m trying my damnedest not to lose my shit.

 

Deep breaths.

 

“Believe me,” Mindy says, breaking through the haze I’m in. “I tried and tried to get Asher to leave you before you found out about us on your own, but he didn’t listen.” She sighs, like she’s disappointed for me… like she’s on my side and she was trying to do me a favor. “Oh, well, life goes on, right?”

 

We enter into a bit of a staring competition for a brief moment, her bright, smiling eyes against my crazy, sadistic glare. I feel the crazy oozing out of me. When she finally starts to back her buggy up to make a U-turn in the aisle, she has the audacity to smile… and wink at me.

 

She’s the incarnation of Satan.

 

Asher and Mindy aren’t going to have a bouncing bundle of joy, they’re going to have a devil love child. I should alert the media. This has a horror movie written all over it.

 

“See you around, Tempest,” she says over her shoulder, before stopping and turning. “Oh, I guess I’ll see you at the reunion, if not before… and you’re bringing a date, right?”

 

Deep breaths, Tempest.

 

I don’t answer her with words, only with my glare, hoping it burns a hole in her skull.

 

You can do this.

 

Don’t let that cow win.

 

After she makes a turn onto another aisle, I take a few more deep breaths, willing my nerves to calm, and when that doesn’t work, I close my eyes and try harder. With my hands on my knees, I suck in air like it’s going extinct. My breathing becomes routine and I automatically start swaying my body in preparation for the Tai Chi moves that come next.

 

Cage has been teaching me a little bit of Tai Chi to further help channel my anger and anxiety and I have to admit, I love it. Completely forgetting where I am, I begin to perform my favorite combination of steps. If people see me, I don’t care. I’d rather them talk about me doing Tai Chi in the canned goods aisle than losing my shit at the Piggly Wiggly.

 

I’m finally feeling relaxed and in control of my emotions, so to celebrate my victory, I decide to throw a few punches into the air, similar to what Rocky Balboa did after running up all those stairs in the movie.

 

I am Tempest Cassidy, master of my emotions.

 

Thoroughly enjoying myself, I decide to end my impromptu workout with a killer roundhouse kick… right into a tower of Pork N Beans.

 

At first, it’s only a few cans. I lurch out, containing them in a lunge, looking around to see who might’ve witnessed my performance. Only a lady down at the other end of the aisle seems to be in the know. I breathe out a sigh of relief, feeling uncharacteristically lucky as I try to balance the cans and myself.

 

Just as I decide it’s safe to stand up, I lose my balance and the cans in my hands take a tumble… and then the entire end cap begins to fall.

 

Cans.

 

Cans of Pork N Beans are rolling everywhere.

 

When everything finally comes to a rest, I’m sprawled out on the glossy tile of the Piggly Wiggly in aisle six, using my body as a dam to stop them from getting too far. I’m afraid to move… afraid to breathe…

 

About Jiffy Kate

Jiffy Kate is the joint pen name for Jiff Simpson and Jenny Kate Altman. They’re co-writing besties who share a brain. They also share a love of cute boys, stiff drinks, and fun times.

Together, they’ve written over twenty stories. Their first published book, Finding Focus, was released in November 2015. Since then, they’ve continued to write what they know–southern settings full of swoony heroes and strong heroines.

Connect with Jiffy Kate

Facebook: http://bit.ly/2kkDmqx

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Amazon: https://amzn.to/2lGyhsz

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Website: http://www.jiffykate.com/

Connect with Smartypants Romance

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Book Review: One Hundred Regrets (An Aspen Cove Romance #11) by Kelly Collins

One Hundred Regrets
(An Aspen Cove Romance #11)
 by Kelly Collins

Amazon US / UK / AU / CA 

Welcome back to Aspen Cove where the honey is sweet but true love is sweeter…

Beekeeper Abby Garrett lives a quiet life in the valley between Mt Meeker and Long’s Peak. While bee stings hurt, betrayal is far more painful. After her fiancé left her for her best friend, she came back home to Aspen Cove hoping to heal and find real love. No matter how hard she tries, love eludes her. The only man whose paying attention is her new neighbor, and Abby can’t decide if she’d rather kiss him or kill him.

Cade Mosier came to Aspen Cove ready to make his mark in the world. He purchased hundreds of acres to raise cattle on, but his new neighbor Abby Garrett wants him and his cows gone. No matter what he does to appease her, she insists his cattle are as dangerous to her bees as pesticides. His ex-wife left him years ago and took everything, and there’s no way he will let another woman steal his future. The problem is, Abby is as frustrating as she is fascinating.

Abby is the new Hatfield. Cade is the new McCoy. Can they call a truce long enough to realize love is far better than war?

My Rating:

Favorite Quotes:

 

 She slid into the booth across from him and sat there staring like she was analyzing a germ on a petri dish.

 She led him past the vast display of candy, and beyond the Croc and condom displays. He found it funny to put the rubbers next to the rubber shoes… “Is there a reason these are displayed together?” Doc stood in front of the aisle that held shoes and rubbers, pepper spray, Deet and Band-Aids. “It’s obvious. This is the protection aisle.”

 Not interested. Women are like a computer virus. They enter your life, download their problems, delete your happiness, and shut down your life. There is no software to protect you from their malware.”

 “I wouldn’t have sex with you if you were the last man on earth. You have nothing that interests me.” Every time she lied her right eye twitched. She pressed her fingers against her lid to stop the damn movement.

 She looks like trouble, and I’m not sure if I should shoot her or let her in.

 

My Review:

This was riotously fun and witty read, I giggle-snorted and smirked my way through from beginning to end. The bee lady was feisty, she was vastly more spirited than I was expecting for a practical recluse. Abby was up to scratch and full of clever retorts and inspired shenanigans in her feud with her antagonistic and sexy new neighbor. They verbally sparred, creatively baited, and amusingly pranked each other until their fiery exchanges had become the best part of their day and lead to a different type of heated encounter where they were also extremely well matched.   In addition to being thoroughly entertained, I learned several fascinating facts about beekeeping, although now I seem to have an exceptionally strong yen for a honey bun.   And there goes the diet… again!  😉

 

ABOUT KELLY COLLINS   

 

  Goodreads  / Website  / Amazon /

International bestselling author of over 30 novels, Kelly Collins writes with the intention of keeping the love alive. Always a romantic, she blends real-life events with her vivid imagination to create characters and stories that lovers of contemporary romance, new adult, and romantic suspense will return to again and again.

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Book Review: All I Want for Christmas Is You (Angel Falls #3) by Miranda Liasson

All I Want for Christmas Is You

(Angel Falls #3)

by Miranda Liasson

Amazon US / UK / AU / CA / 

B&N /GP / Apple / Kobo 

The award-winning author who writes with “humor and heart” (Jill Shalvis, New York Times bestselling author) invites you to visit the charming small town of Angel Falls.

Being naughty was nice, but now these friends-turned-lovers are in for an unforgettable Christmas…
Just when Kaitlyn Barnes vows to get over her longtime crush on Rafe Langdon, they share a sizzling evening that delivers an epic holiday surprise: Kaitlyn is pregnant. And if that weren’t life-changing enough, everyone assumes they’re engaged — a charade they must keep alive through the holiday season. But Kaitlyn knows Rafe better than anyone, and Rafe settling down is about as likely as Santa skipping Angel Falls this year…

Rafe would rather Kaitlyn believe a lie — that their night together was a fling — than face his own dangerous truth: he’s falling for her, hard. After a devastating loss, Rafe swore he’d never risk his heart again. Yet the longer they pretend to be engaged the more Rafe starts to want the real thing. But now he has to convince Kaitlyn he wants to be by her side — and their baby’s — for all the Christmases to come.

My Rating:

Favorite Quotes:

 

No wonder you two are… um, expecting. That is some positively ferocious chemistry! Lordie, pass me a fan!

 

Such a hardworking, practical woman, who gets up at four-thirty every morning to open her grandpa’s café. Yet she wears the most filmy, lacy underwear with a tiny satin bow. That is the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.

 

My Review:

 

Start with a surprise pregnancy and add in a troubled and sticky-fingered relative, a sexy yet traumatized and apprehensive baby-daddy, a crafty grandmother, a playful rescued puppy, and a missing recipe needed for a competition and coffee shop owner Kaitlyn’s cup is overflowing, and she can’t even drink the coffee. I have enjoyed every installment of the Angel Falls series, and adore the Langdon’s tight-knit and loving family. The characters are responsible, thoughtful, and likable human beings who are realistically flawed and a bit frayed around the edges yet hard-working, kind, and lovable. Kaitlyn and Rafe’s storylines were well-balanced overall as they swung between angsty inner turmoil and a tender sweet and steamy romance. Ms. Liasson’s writing style is easy to fall into and follow, yet is craftily paced with expert storytelling and emotive word choices that hit and hold the perfect emotional tones between well-placed bursts of levity and a gentle and caring romance that squeezes all the feels.

 

 

Author Bio:

Miranda Liasson loves to write stories about everyday people who find love despite themselves because there’s nothing like a great love story. And if there are a few laughs along the way, even better! She’s a Romance Writers of America Golden Heart winner and an Amazon bestselling author whose heartwarming and humorous small-town romances have won accolades such as the Gayle Wilson Award of Excellence and have been Harlequin Junkie and Night Owl Reviews Top Picks.

 

Connect with Miranda: 

Website | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Goodreads | Amazon | Newsletter | Bookbub | Pinterest | Blog

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Book Review: MEANT TO BE YOURS by Susan Mallery

MEANT TO BE YOURS
by Susan Mallery

ISBN: 9781335041494

Publication Date: 10/22/19

Publisher: HQN Books

Harlequin  / Indiebound / Amazon /

B & N/  Google / iBooks / Kobo

 

In Happily Inc, love means never having to say “I do”…

Wedding coordinator Renee Grothen isn’t meant for marriage. Those who can, do. Those who can’t, plan. But she never could have planned on gorgeous, talented thriller writer Jasper Dembenski proposing—a fling, that is. Fun without a future. And the attraction between them is too strong for Renee to resist. Now she can have her no-wedding cake…and eat it, too.

After years in the military, Jasper is convinced he’s too damaged for relationships. So a flirtation—and more—with fiery, determined Renee is way too good to pass up…until his flame becomes his muse.

Renee is an expert at averting every crisis. But is she finally ready to leap into the one thing that can never be controlled: love?

 

My Rating:

Favorite Quotes:

 

His voice was low and teasing. It sent ripples down her spine and made her wish she was the kind of woman who could look a man in the eye while inviting him back to her place. But she wasn’t and she couldn’t.

 

“So you’d be using me for sex… I don’t know.” He raised and lowered his shoulders. “I’ve never been anyone’s sex toy before.” “You didn’t really just say that.” He dropped his gaze to the floor. “I feel used.” “Just stop it. No one believes that for a second.” He looked at her again and grinned.

 

You are the dumbest of the dumb. She must be furious with you. Personally I’d hire someone to beat you up and then set you on fire. How could you?

 

Someone tapped her on the shoulder. She turned and saw Jasper standing very close. He leaned in and kissed her on the lips— a sweet kiss that unexpectedly made her eyes burn. “Score!” he whispered. “I always wanted to kiss a girl in the library. It’s been a fantasy of mine since I was fifteen and had a thing for a girl named Bambi.” “Seriously? Bambi?” “I swear. She was so hot and she never noticed me.” “That’s her loss.” “I like to think so.” Then he was gone, continuing his library exploration.

 

My Review:

 

I was late to discover her brilliance but I am unashamed in confessing that I unabashedly adore the nimble raconteur known as Susan Mallery and want to read every word she ever scribbles. Her latest tale was a cleverly amusing small-town romance featured Renee and Jasper, two somewhat fractured and socially awkward people who viewed and avoided relationships like a virulent disease but had entered into a monogamous friends-with-benefits agreement as both realized their lives were lacking. They had an A+ rating for advanced chemistry although their mutual friendship developed slowly with fits and starts and several calamitous missteps. Their lives began to mesh until they had become considerably more than planned, but were they able to be more, and more of what would they be?

 

The primary and most of the secondary characters were endearingly flawed and alluring as well as distinctly quirky. I enjoyed their snappy banter, clever levity, and humorous situations and sensual exploits, although I was quite beguiled by the considerable insight and thought that went into the profoundly perceptive details involving the myriad complications and peculiarities of wedding planning, which was Renee’s vocation and she was exceptionally good at it; as well as the absorbing tendency and capricious nature of the resilient Jasper’s writing process. Jasper was a best-selling author of thrillers and I can imagine just how much this crafty wordsmith enjoyed skewering her own foibles and muse.

 

 

About the Author

Author Website

Twitter: @susanmallery

Facebook: @SusanMallery

Instagram: @susanmallery

Goodreads

 

SUSAN MALLERY is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of novels about the relationships that define women’s lives—family, friendship, romance. Library Journal says, “Mallery is the master of blending emotionally believable characters in realistic situations,” and readers seem to agree—40 million copies of her books have sold worldwide. Her warm, humorous stories make the world a happier place to live.

Susan grew up in California and now lives in Seattle with her husband. She’s passionate about animal welfare, especially that of the two ragdoll cats and an adorable poodle who think of her as mom.

 

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Book Review: Tacker (Arizona Vengeance, Book #5) by Sawyer Bennett


Tacker (Arizona Vengeance, Book #5)
Sawyer Bennett
Release Date: November 5, 2019

 

Synopsis:
I am not okay.

Fifteen months ago, my life was turned upside down when the plane I was piloting went down. Injured and trapped in the wreckage, I had to watch my fiancée die a painfully slow death, which is something that can really mess with your head.

Since that day, I’ve had little desire to do much of anything. Except play hockey, that is. Because that is the one place where the bad memories are banished and I can escape my pain.

But off the ice, I’m spiraling out of control. Losing the grip on my life and putting myself and my career in danger. Now, thanks to a string of bad decisions, I’ve been ordered to complete therapy in order to stay on the team.

The problem? Nora Wayne, my beautiful and somewhat unconventional therapist. I can’t buy into the brand of happy-clappy crap this woman is feeding me. What could she possibly understand about the type of loss that I’ve suffered? How does she know anything about finding happiness after losing the most important person in your life?

Turns out, I’ve got a lot to learn, and she’s just the person I need to break through those walls I’ve erected.

I am not okay.
But for the first time in a long time, I know that I will be.

Download Tacker:

 

Amazon | B&N | Apple | Google Play | Kobo | Paperback | Audible

 

My Rating:

Favorite Quotes:

 

“You hurt her, and I will kill you. Even though I like you, I will kill you very dead. Take your body out in the desert and dump it. No one will find you.” I don’t laugh. He’s quite serious, and I respect him for it. “I’ll do my best.”

 

“Just be quiet,” I snap. “Or I’m going to call MaryBeth Henson to come and watch over you this afternoon while I go feed the horses.” A slight tinge of fear seeps into Raul’s expression. She showed up yesterday with a bag of knitting, then promptly sat in one of the other guest chairs and glared at Raul the entire time, almost daring him to get sicker.

 

My Review:

 

This story was a heart-squeezer with both main characters having suffered devastating losses, and also dealt with heavy issues and concerns with thoughtful insights and perception. While the emotional tone was often angsty and melancholy, clever hits of humor and bone-melting sensual steam restored the balance and kept the story from being maudlin. Written in my favorite dual POV, the storylines were relevant, well-paced, observantly detailed, and featured likable and endearing characters. I appreciated the comradery, compassion, and the considerate and supportive nature of the relationships between all the characters.

 

About the Author:
Since the release of her debut contemporary romance novel, Off Sides, in January 2013, Sawyer Bennett has released multiple books, many of which have appeared on the New York Times, USA Today and Wall Street Journal bestseller lists.

A reformed trial lawyer from North Carolina, Sawyer uses real-life experience to create relatable, sexy stories that appeal to a wide array of readers. From new adult to erotic contemporary romance, Sawyer writes something for just about everyone.

Sawyer likes her Bloody Marys strong, her martinis dirty, and her heroes a combination of the two. When not bringing fictional romance to life, Sawyer is a chauffeur, stylist, chef, maid, and personal assistant to a very active daughter, as well as full-time servant to her adorably naughty dogs. She believes in the good of others, and that a bad day can be cured with a great work-out, cake, or even better, both.

Sawyer also writes general and women’s fiction under the pen name S. Bennett and sweet romance under the name Juliette Poe.

Connect with Sawyer:

Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Goodreads | Book + Main Bites | BookBub | Amazon | Newsletter | Master Blogger List