Shelf Awareness

by Katie Ashley

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“Don’t miss this hilarious and sweet adventure in the Green Valley Library series. Five Stars!”–Aleatha Romig, New York Times bestselling author

Shelf Awareness, an all-new hilarious romantic comedy from New York Times bestselling author Katie Ashley is available now!

After catching her husband in a compromising position, Finley Granger finds herself in a new hell: reentering the dating world. When she moves in with her grandmother, her great-aunt, and their best friend, Finley finds herself surrounded by a trio of well-meaning yet bumbling matchmakers.

In spite of their efforts, Finley only has eyes for one person, and that’s Zeke Masters—the 6’4”, impossibly built, and ridiculously good-looking new man in town. Along with her nether regions, Finley’s journalistic spidey-senses tingle as to why he’s on sabbatical from Seattle. Is he on the lam or escaping a bad breakup? What’s his story?!?!

As Finley finds herself reluctantly drawn to the gorgeous IT guy, she can’t help but wonder: should she indulge in a rebound tryst with the mysterious Zeke, or has she finally met her match?

‘Shelf Awareness’ is a full-length contemporary romantic comedy, can be read as a standalone, and is book #4 in the Green Valley Library series, Green Valley World, Penny Reid Book Universe.

Except

As Zeke worked on uploading the census records, I hoisted one of the many boxes from the Henderson’s donation onto the table. It kicked up an epic dust cloud. I reached inside to pluck out one of the moldering tomes of historical literature. Wrinkling my nose, I fought the urge to sneeze. Instead, I cleared my throat. When it still felt like I had swallowed a wad of sawdust, I coughed. And that was my grievous mistake.

The force of the cough dislodged the Ben Wa ball, sending it into an epic downward dive. Yes, ladies and gentlemen the Ben Wa ball had left the building. Whirling away from Zeke, I used my hand to try an inconspicuous crotch shuffle to send the ball back to its point of origin. What happened next was truly against the laws of motion. Because the universe apparently hated me, the ball escaped the confines of my thong. As it started its descent down my thigh, I squeaked and clamped my knees together.

“Are you all right?” Zeke asked behind me.

I threw a glance at him over my shoulder. “Uh, yeah, I . . .” Okay, I had no idea how I was going to get out of this one. It wasn’t like I could say, “Well, here’s the thing. The Ben Wa ball I was using to strengthen my pelvic floor muscles to keep my vagina healthy for the D just slipped out and is about to make a very unhappy trail down my leg.”

“I think a bug bit me or something.”

“Oh no. Want me to take a look?”

“No!” When Zeke’s eyes widened at my outburst, I said, “Sorry. I’m okay.”

“If you’re sure.”

“Totally.”

“I think I might’ve found something interesting for your research.”

The only thing I was interested in at the moment was getting the Ben Wa ball out of my pants without Zeke seeing it. “Oh?”

“I definitely see some Native American female names.”

Damn him for being enthusiastic about my research. The last thing I wanted to do was walk the couple of steps back over to him while trying to keep a Ben Wa ball from rolling down my pants leg. Since I couldn’t see any other way out of it, I nodded. Gritting my teeth, I started shuffling over to him.

When I started lurching like Frankenstein’s monster, Zeke tilted his head curiously at me. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yep. Totally fine,” I muttered.

Just as I reached his chair, my knee shifted because of what I imagined was panic sweat overtaking me. As the ball became dislodged, I bit down on my lip to keep from squealing again. There was no saving the ball now or my humiliation for that matter.

As soon as it plopped onto my shoe, I flung my foot, sending it ricocheting into the desk. Of course, it’s size caused it to make a tremendous ching-ching noise, which in turn caused Zeke to rip his attention away from the screen. “What was that?”

“What was what?” I questioned innocently.

He furrowed his brows at me. “You didn’t hear that noise?”

“Uh, no.” Plastering a smile on my face, I said, “I’m sorry. I was just so into what you were saying.”

Ignoring my response, Zeke quickly assessed the area around us. After I’d flung the ball away, it had come to a rest to the right of his desk chair. When he bent over to examine the ball, I inwardly began screaming noooooo while at the same time cursing Estelle for even bringing the Ben Wa ball into my orbit.

Since the universe hadn’t tortured me quite enough yet, Zeke picked up the ball. “Interesting,” he murmured as he twisted it between his fingers.

I decided it was best to play absolutely and completely clueless in this situation. “What is it?” Silently, I prayed he wouldn’t respond with, “It looks like one of those sex balls you shove up your cooch.”

“I don’t know. Maybe a part off one of the desks or chairs. I should probably give it to maintenance, so they can check all the furniture in here.”

Oh hell no. Without a second thought, I snatched the ball out of his hands. Since I did it rather abruptly, Zeke’s surprise was apparent on his face. Waving my free hand dismissively, I said, “Don’t bother yourself with that. I’ll take it to them.”

“Thanks, Finley.”

After wheezing out a breath, I replied, “You’re welcome.” I jerked my thumb over my shoulder. “I’ll go do that right now.”

I didn’t bother waiting for Zeke to reply. Instead, I power walked right out of the history room. I’m sure if he was watching me he would have been puzzled at my miraculous recovery, considering I’d been limping earlier.

At the first trash can I could find, I deposited the Ben Wa ball. It seemed abundantly clear that neither I nor my vagina were quite ready to handle the responsibility.

 Break the Rules
(Loveless Brothers #3)
by Roxie Noir

Some lines shouldn’t be crossed.

Some rules shouldn’t be broken.

June is one of them, and I know it.

Break the Rules, an all-new hilarious, brother’s best friend romance from Roxie Noir, is available now!

As a forest ranger, I believe in the simple life. I prefer cabins to apartments, trails to freeways, and trees to people. My life is orderly, predictable, and quiet.

Until it’s hit by a woman I never saw coming — Hurricane June.

She’s fierce. She’s feisty. She has a laugh like the first day of spring, and she’s so pretty that I can’t breathe when I look at her. June will only be in town for a few months—just while job-hunting. She won’t last until winter, but how can I resist?

Except I have to. She’s my best, oldest, and most loyal friend’s baby sister.

Betraying him would be the worst thing I’ve ever done. Not betraying him might be the hardest.

Especially once we start working together on a secret project. All this spending time together, sneaking around at night, and lying to her brother about what we’re doing sure feels like more than friendship.

June might break my heart. Her brother might break my nose.

But I guess some things were made to be broken.

My Rating:

Favorite Quotes:

Levi is a mystery wrapped in an enigma stuffed into a crate labeled puzzle, and I don’t think he likes me.

There are reasons besides loyalty and friendship that June is a bad idea for me. Reasons like Silas has extensive combat training and Silas is not a reasonable human being when it comes to his little sister.

“June, there’s a bottle of your father’s pizzazz sauce on the door if you’d like some for the chili,” my mom says. “And I think there’s still some of his butt burner if you want to go ahead and use that up.” I make a face, because your father’s pizzazz sauce is a phrase I could happily go a lifetime without hearing, and that goes double for your father’s butt burner. He’s turned to making hot sauces in his retirement, because everyone needs a hobby…

“It’s not hoarding if it’s books,” Charlie says. “Then it’s knowledge collection, and that makes you fancy.”

“There are animals who won’t breed in captivity,” he says. “Is that why you’re not married?”

“Give me more advice, please,” I say. “Fart before you go into the interview room,” he says instantly. “Don’t hold it in, because then you’ll end up gassing everyone in there, and they’ll know it was you, and you will not get hired at that job. You will not.”

“Who is this?” I demand…”You’re being nice and my brother Silas once held me down and farted into my mouth, so you’re obviously an imposter,” I say.

 My Review:

I barked with laughter and giggle-snorted repeatedly while reading this delightfully clever tale. This was my first experience reading the feisty and talented Roxie Noir but I plan to be hitting her page like a binge dieter at the all-you-can-eat buffet on cheat days.

I was euphoric over this adorable couple and well enamored with most of the secondary characters as well; they were smart, sweet-natured, witty, well suited, funny, sexy, and thoughtful and kind with each other.   Levi and June’s harmonious relationship was gentle, supportive, and considerate, as well as atomically sensual and gasp ~ hot enough to melt my Kindle.

Swoon, Levi is my forever BBF. The storylines and writing style were highly amusing, unfailingly engaging, fun, lively, easy to follow, and laden with sharp wit and comical observations.   I have a new favorite author to fangirl, I need more of her stellar arrangements of words in my life.

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Excerpt

I like this side of Levi. It’s a side I’ve only ever seen glimpses of before in the past two weeks — sweet, slightly goofy, teasing and funny, different from the serious, quiet man I thought he was. It’s a strange revelation, but a good one, even if I wish I liked it less.

“One minute,” I tell him, and pull back from the window.

I shut it. I pull the curtains closed.
I wonder what I’m doing and why on earth Levi has shown up beneath my bedroom window at twelve-thirty in the morning. I wish that the sight of him down there had made me feel differently, that I was indifferent and vaguely curious instead of suddenly buzzing and feeling like I’m being lifted aloft by several large birds.

I tiptoe down the stairs and through the living room, still wondering. I haven’t heard from him at all since we ate pizza in the back of his truck two nights ago, and I wish that didn’t bother me. I wish I thought less about him sitting there, as night fell, laughing and showing me his cell phone or telling me that he’s an alien.

I wish I thought less about him, period.

When I get outside, Levi’s leaning against his truck, his shoulder-length hair out of its usual knot.

I’m not sure I remember seeing him with his hair down before. He looks different. Relaxed. Like himself.

“I named the dog,” he says as I walk up to him.


 I don’t know what I was expecting him to say, but that wasn’t it.

“You do know that the last time a man came to my window, I called my brother to get rid of him,” I say. “I’m sure he told you about that.”

“He certainly did,” Levi said. “And if I were in my right mind, it might have deterred me.”

“You’re in your wrong mind, then?” I ask, tilting my head slightly, keeping my voice down.

“You didn’t ask what I named the dog,” he says.

“Did you come here at twelve-thirty in the morning to tell me you named your dog?” I ask.

Levi smiles, holds out one hand. I step forward and take it, his skin warm and he enfolds my fingers in his.

“No,” he says. “I came here to say that I think you should come back to my place for a nightcap.”

“A nightcap?”

“Yes,” he says. “I’d like to take you home, fix you a drink, and seduce you, and I’d like to do it without thinking even once of your brother.”

About Roxie

I love writing sexy, alpha men and the headstrong women they fall for.

My weaknesses include: beards, whiskey, nice abs with treasure trails, sarcasm, cats, prowess in the kitchen, prowess in the bedroom, forearm tattoos, and gummi bears.

I live in California with my very own sexy, bearded, whiskey-loving husband and two hell-raising cats.

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