Book Review: Pretty Daring by Jenn Hype

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Title: Pretty Daring

Author: Jenn Hype

Genre: Romantic Comedy

PD Cover 

★★★Buy Links★★★

Amazon US: https://amzn.to/2QU7swd

Amazon UK: https://amzn.to/2IftLZA

Amazon CA: https://amzn.to/2pzaOZ6

Amazon AU: https://amzn.to/2zt1vQp

Other Retailers: https://bit.ly/2QOkifD

 

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★★★Synopsis★★★

If you ask me, foolishness is like beauty – all about the eye of the beholder.

For instance – I’ve been told the amount of caffeine I consume on a daily basis will eventually kill me, which makes no sense because that caffeine is essential to living. Then I have doctors telling me that I need to get more sleep if I want to live a happy, healthy life. I can easily refute those claims because my life is neither happy nor healthy if I don’t utilize every possible second of each day to ensure my life’s goals are met.

Now I’ve got people claiming that hooking up with the sexy bodyguard I hired after someone tried to kill me in broad daylight is a mistake. And, okay, they might be right about that one. Even I can’t argue that it’s not healthy to sleep with someone you can barely stand to be around outside the bedroom.

But you know what? Life is already short enough. If there’s a chance I might die young, then I’m going to go out with a bang – preferably the kind that comes with an orgasm or twelve.

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My Rating:

Favorite Quotes:

 

That voice. Hot damn, his voice did things to parts of my body that had no business being involved in this conversation.

 

My eyes rolled so far back into my head I swear I saw my brain.

 

“I used to think it was hot when guys went all alpha male, but now I just think it’s seriously annoying.” “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Blake deadpanned. “CJ hasn’t had the upper hand since I met him.” “How do you do it? Show me, master. Teach me the ways of the Jedi.”

 

I’ll admit, New York is a challenge when it comes to my personality. People get more offended by kind gestures than they do if you were to spit in their face. It makes no sense. But I enjoy torturing them with my niceness all the same.

 

Yeah, well, what about that time you made me wait two hours after a Jason Mraz concert so you could get a picture with him, and then I had to force you to do it because the second he tried to talk to you, you turned into a bitch and told him his moles creeped you out.

 

I wouldn’t have thought it possible, but he looked even angrier than he had minutes ago. I half expected his clothes to tear at the seams and his skin to start turning green.

 

My Review:

 

I am thoroughly enjoying this giggle-snort and smirk-worthy series. The storylines of each were brimming with sassy and feisty characters that bicker and banter like it was an Olympic sport and they were hopeful medal contenders. The main character of Paige was a deeply flawed over-the-top drama queen as well as a hot mess; yet she had a soft heart, clever wit, and compelling history.   Sebastian’s storyline was more poignant for family loyalty and social awkwardness, although his relatives provided considerable levity as well. Penned in my favorite dual POV, the premise was interesting while the writing was entertaining, engaging and well balanced. I’m hoping the third in the series is dished up soon as I am more than eager to spend more time with this lively group.

 

★★★Excerpt★★★

“After two minutes of awkward silence that felt more like hours, I leaned forward and switched on the radio.

Sebastian immediately switched it back off. We did this four more times before I got fed up. “Quit that!”

“No music.”

“Why!?”

He shrugged one shoulder. That’s it. Just a little shrug. Like that were an acceptable answer.

“Okay, fine. You don’t want to listen to music? Let’s talk, then. Your mom a fan of The Little Mermaid?”

He rolled his eyes. “Good one.”

“So Clara told me CJ only hires vets. What branch did you serve?”

“Marines.”

“Hoo-raha.”

“It’s Oorah.”

I knew that. I’d been trying to get a reaction out of him. It did not work. The less he responded to my poking, the more irritated I became. “You ever kill someone?”

That question earned me a quick side glance. “You always start off by asking extremely personal, inappropriate questions?”

“Oh, my apologies. What’s your favorite color?”

“Blue.”

“Movie?”

“Die Hard.”

“Book?” He paused and I snickered. “Guns and Ammo doesn’t count.”

“Oh, then I don’t have one.”

I bit my lip to keep from smiling. I rather enjoyed his dry sense of humor. Like hell would I ever admit it to him, though. “So. Killed someone? Yay or Nay?”

He sighed but I caught him trying to hide a smirk.”

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★★★Other Books In the Jaded Series★★★

Book 1: Simply Crazy

Available Now:

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Forget apps, websites and singles events – clearly the best way to meet a guy is to move in next door, accidentally assault him and then demand a job at his company.

If that kind of charm doesn’t totally knock him off his feet, the next step is to build an army. If possible, try to recruit those closest to the target, such as his mom, sisters and closest friends. Sure, it sounds extreme and maybe a little bit crazy, but I’ve always subscribed to the old adage “No one worth having comes willingly.” Okay, I switched out some words there, but you get the point.

Caution: Even the most foolproof plans can have hiccups along the way. I’ve taken the liberty of compiling a list of things you should watch out for: Crazy ex-boyfriends who pop up out of nowhere like an evil jack-in-the-box; Women who think a strategic nip slip is effective at landing a boyfriend; Co-workers who think it’s hilarious to prank you at work and then upload the videos to social media.

Still have doubts? No worries. I’ll show you how it’s done.

Amazon US: https://amzn.to/2NA6BTo
Amazon UK: https://amzn.to/2QVcqsy
Amazon CA: https://amzn.to/2OPG8xN
Amazon AU: https://amzn.to/2Dvo9eS
ibooks: https://apple.co/2xRjwWe
Kobo: http://bit.ly/2N1P9lN

Book 3: Stupid Smart

Coming November 20th

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Ever since I was a little girl, all I ever wanted was to get married. To meet the perfect man who’d love me more than life itself and be a wonderful father to all our beautiful children.

I loaded up on chapstick and prepared myself for all the frogs I’d have to kiss to find my prince. But I hadn’t been prepared for just how slimy and gross those metaphorical amphibians could be. And as I got older, the toads got hornier and hornier. (No pun intended, but we’re talking men here, so… yeah.)

Still, I refuse to give up, no matter how many obstacles are thrown my way.

Liam, however, has other plans for my future.

Every inch the bad boy with his leather jacket, dark eyes and tattoos, you’d never expect his personality to be more along the lines of class clown. The combination is oddly sexy. Just ask any woman of legal age in the city of New York, since he’s likely slept with all of them by now.

A simple misunderstanding made us enemies. Now I can’t get rid of him. He’s like a bad case of herpes that just keeps flaring up at the worst of times. And if he sabotages one more of my dates, I’m going to kill him. Or kiss him.

Most days I can’t decide which I’d rather do more.

Add to your Goodreads TBR List: http://bit.ly/2zQqwoz

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★★★Author Bio★★★

What’s up world – I’m Jenn Hype.

Author, mother, wife, singer/songwriter, aspiring comedian – I wear many hats. Some of them fit, some of them look ridiculous, and all of them are fun. Life’s too short to take anything too seriously, so I don’t.

Sarcasm is my go-to, especially when it’s most inappropriate. Need someone to make an uncomfortable situation even more awkward? I’m the girl for the job.

I’m ridiculously A.D.D. and I own it. I have a serious addiction to ecards and the majority of my Pinterest account is dedicated to them. The key to my heart is glitter and caffeine – my needs are basic.

I’m a bookaholic and I crush hard on my book boyfriends and their authors. Some might call me obsessive, but I disagree. That word really doesn’t do justice to how crazy I get when it comes to something I’m passionate about. I’m not afraid to go fangirl on you, so don’t test me.

★★★Social Media Links★★★

Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/jennhype/

Goodreads –  https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/14254207.Jenn_Hype

Amazon – https://www.amazon.com/Jenn-Hype/e/B01D8UQIIQ

Jenn’s Hypsters (STREET TEAM)

https://www.facebook.com/groups/236465496731730/

Asylum for Hypermaniacs ( Reader Group)

https://www.facebook.com/groups/EmbraceTheCrazy/

Nameless (Reader Group with Jenn and Mary Frame)

https://www.facebook.com/groups/213252492446817/

Newsletter http://eepurl.com/bPeZa9

BookBub https://www.bookbub.com/authors/jenn-hype

Pinterest https://www.pinterest.co.uk/authorjennhype/

#JennHype #AllAboardTheCrazyTrain #PrettyDaring

#JadedSeries #RomanticComedy #BlogTour

#BookwormPromotions

Book Review: Christmas at The Little Duck Pond Cafe by Rosie Green

 

Christmas at The Little Duck Pond Cafe

by Rosie Green

Amazon US / UK / CA/ AU  

 

Fen has always hated being the center of attention.


She loves her new job, working behind the scenes at the Little Duck Pond Cafe and baking the scrumptious cakes that have helped its reputation soar. But frankly, she’d rather scrub the public toilet floor with a toothbrush than have to come out and talk to the customers.


She’s always been happy to stay in the background as long as she has a good supply of books to escape into. That’s her kind of romance – the fictional sort where she can read about other people taking a chance on love, but she doesn’t have to risk her own heart.


But that was before Ethan Fox arrived in the village and turned her world upside down. Ethan is a leading light in the local amateur dramatics theatre company and Fen knows he’s way out of her league.


But when the popular village Christmas pantomime hits a crisis, Fen and Ethan find themselves thrown together. Can Fen overcome her shyness and find the courage to step on stage and save the day?

 

My Rating:

Favorite Quotes:

 

I’ve always hated my blushes. You can’t have any secrets if you turn as red as a ripe tomato at anything that’s even mildly unsettling. When I was younger, I used to wear a weird green-coloured cream on my face that was supposed to hide the blushes. Then my latest crush commented loudly, in front of the whole class, that I always looked like Casper the friendly ghost. So the tube of cream went in the bin.

 

He of the hard muscles yet adorably soft centre.

 

I prefer muted colours. (Mum describes these colours ‘jokingly’ as ‘shades of sludge’ and is always trying to encourage me to dress more colourfully.)

 

I wish I had more confidence. So when I’m pitching for an important business contract and I know I’ll be nervous, I do my ‘Superman pose’ before I go to the meeting… It’s a little-known fact that you can con your brain into believing you’re confident, which then makes you feel more confident. And one way to do that is to adopt what they call a “power pose” to make you feel more powerful. In private, of course. They might carry you off if you were to do it on public transport.

 

My Review:

 

This was book three in the series and my favorite to date. I continue to adore these quirky characters and have been curious about the excruciatingly timid yet talented Fen since her first introduction. Fen was painfully shy and suffered from feelings of inadequacy and paralyzing anxiety, which was superbly captured and cleverly portrayed by this wily author.   The multiple and equally intriguing storylines were well-crafted and shrewdly paced with equal measures of levity, family drama, and attempts at romance as Fen and company were attempting to push past her restrictive comfort zone as well as deal with the community, work, and family concerns. I enjoyed Fen’s inner musings, confused insights, skewed observations, gradual ripening, and finally her personal shackle shattering awareness and epiphanies.   I was highly amused by the manner Fen drew plot similarities and concepts from her favorite romance novels and beloved heroines to draw confidence, check her deportment, or assimilate her feelings while attempting to interact with men she found attractive. Now that Ms. Green has dealt with the three women working in the café, I am eager to see whom her keen writer’s eye hones in on next.

I’m trying something new – I’m taking part in the lovely Jo Linsdell’s Booktastic link up Thursday – she is such a precious little thing.

Author Bio

Rosie Green has been scribbling stories ever since she was little. Back then they were rip-roaring adventure tales with a young heroine in perilous danger of falling off a cliff or being tied up by ‘the baddies’. Thankfully, Rosie has moved on somewhat, and now much prefers to write romantic comedies that melt your heart and make you smile, with really not much perilous danger involved at all, unless you count the heroine losing her heart in love.

Rosie’s brand new series of novellas is centered on life in a village café. The first two stories in the series are: Spring at The Little Duck Pond Cafe and Summer at The Little Duck Pond Café.

Twitter – https://twitter.com/Rosie_Green1988

Book Review, Giveaway: Autumn Antics (The Boardwalk by the Sea Book 2) by Georgina Troy

Autumn Antics

(The Boardwalk by the Sea Book 2)

by Georgina Troy

Amazon US / UK / CA/ AU

 

Being a part-time hand model can be tricky, especially when you have to deal with prima donnas like Megan Knight, a reality star whose meteoric rise has surprised everyone. Bella is happiest running her tiny antique business from the front room of her cottage on the boardwalk. To ensure she has enough income coming in, she also rents out two of her bedrooms and is hiding a secret crush on one of her lodgers. His name is Jack and he also happens to be her best friend Sacha’s brother.

If life wasn’t complicated enough, her world-traveling mother appears on her doorstep on the same evening that Jack’s ex-fiancée arrives on the boardwalk determined to win him back. Bella has a lot of thinking to do and soon discovers that not all gems sparkle.

My Rating:

Favorite Quote:

 

It always feels a little strange coming back. It’s like stepping into a childhood memory, a bit like entering a protected bubble.

 

My Review:

 

Autumn Antics was a pleasant and relaxing read and my initial exposure to the island of Jersey, which sounds like a uniquely interesting locale. Regardless of their colorful boardwalk and coastal terrain, I am currently eaten up with curiosity and obsessing over their specialty bread called Cabbage Loaf, which sounds rather awful in theory – bread baked with a cabbage leaf on the top and bottom, but as it is revered, it must taste divine. I am determined to dust off my baking pans, Google a recipe, and give it a try; which speaks volumes to the Georgina Troy’s talent for descriptive writing, as she apparently possesses magical word charms capable of spurring my lazy bones into domestic activity. An astounding feat!

The plot and storylines were leisurely paced and gradually shaped, a bit sluggish in places as it was not an active or intriguing read; but rather a sweet and light tale about a small village with gentle inhabitants, most of which had lived there most of their lives. This was book two in the series and while I had not read book one, I never feel lost or confused although it appears that the characters from the first book carried over into the second installment as well. I waffled some on the rating as it felt a little less than a four-star read but near enough.

 

Author Bio –

Georgina Troy is a pseudonym of author Deborah Carr. She recently signed with HarperCollins’ romance imprint HarperImpulse to write a historical romance to commemorate 100 years since the end of the First World War. The Poppy Field by Deborah Carr will be published in e-book format on 12 October 2018 and in paperback on 27 December 2018.

Georgina was a finalist in the Contemporary Romance Category of the Romantic Novel of the Year Awards 2016 (RoNAs) with A Jersey Kiss and a finalist in the Joan Hessayon Award for new writers 2015. Her first four-book series, The Jersey Scene and books 1 and 2 of her second series, The Boardwalk by the Sea are available.

She also writes thrillers as Ella Drummond and lives on the island of Jersey with her husband and three rescue dogs and is 1/3 of The Blonde Plotters.

Sign up to Georgina’s Newsletter at: deborahcarr.org/contact

Social Media Links –

Website: https://www.deborahcarr.org/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/GeorginaTroyAuthor/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/GeorginaTroy

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/georginatroy/

Giveaway 

Win an Autumn Antics Locket and Tote Bag

(Open Internationally)

*Terms and Conditions –Worldwide entries welcome.  Please enter using the Rafflecopter box below.  The winner will be selected at random via Rafflecopter from all valid entries and will be notified by Twitter and/or email. If no response is received within 7 days then I reserve the right to select an alternative winner. Open to all entrants aged 18 or over.  Any personal data given as part of the competition entry is used for this purpose only and will not be shared with third parties, with the exception of the winners’ information. This will be passed to the giveaway organizer and used only for the fulfillment of the prize, after which time I will delete the data.  I am not responsible for despatch or delivery of the prize.

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Book Review: Lone Star Christmas – Cowboy Christmas Eve (A Coldwater Texas Novel) by Delores Fossen

Lone Star Christmas:

Cowboy Christmas Eve

(A Coldwater Texas Novel)

by Delores Fossen

Mass Market Paperback: 384 pages

Publisher: HQN; Original edition (October 1, 2018)

Amazon | Books-A-Million | B & N

A family crisis brings him home…

Just in time for Christmas

Cattleman Callen Laramie has no intention of returning to his hometown of Coldwater, Texas until a Christmas wedding and a family secret convince him he has no choice. And when he’s reunited with his childhood crush, the girl who’d always been off-limits, Callen knows leaving might not be so easy this time.

Shelby McCall is as pretty as a Christmas snowfall, and Callen wants to kiss her under the mistletoe…and the Christmas tree…and the stars. But once Shelby knows the whole truth behind this homecoming, will their holiday fling come to an abrupt end? Or will she accept the gift of his heart?

 

My Rating:

Favorite Quotes:

 

It was Gopher Tate, and he threw open his heavily lined raincoat to flash her. He had a blue bow tied around his wrinkly junk that was covered by a pair of whities that weren’t so tight. They were at least three sizes too big, and the elastic in the waist was shot… Shelby gave him a glare that was colder than the sleet pelting his thinly covered privates. “Close your coat, Gopher, before you have to explain to the ER folks why you got frostbite on your wanger.”

 

She was reasonably sure that had she been wearing toenail polish, it would have melted, too.

 

Seems a shame to let the pizza go cold after you slaved over the phone to order it…

 

The cat was there, sitting by a nearly empty food and water dish and glaring at Callen as if he were responsible for multiple crimes against felines and humanity.

 

My Review:

 

Delores Fossen has gifted us with the early Christmas present of a new series, and she has started it off with her own special blend of damaged yet sexy and lovable heroes, clever wry humor, heart squeezing storylines, colorful and quirky small-town characters, and a sweet romance with delectably steamy bits. I always look forward to meeting her amusing and uniquely peculiar characters and she didn’t disappoint with the introduction of Rosy – the armadillo obsessed geriatric bride-to-be with a taxidermy shop called Much Ado About Stuffing; and Gopher – the pervy elderly flasher who was well known yet never actually naked under his raincoat. As always, her storylines were engaging, entertaining, and well-paced.   I’m already primed for the next installment.

 

About Delores Fossen

USA Today bestselling author, Delores Fossen, has sold over 70 novels with millions of copies of her books in print worldwide. She’s received the Booksellers’ Best Award, the Romantic Times Reviewers’ Choice Award and was a finalist for the prestigious Rita ®. In addition, she’s had nearly a hundred short stories and articles published in national magazines.

Connect with Delores

Website | Facebook | Twitter Instagram

 

Book Review: The Secrets We Carried by Mary McNear

The Secrets We Carried

by Mary McNear

HarperCollins | Amazon | B & N

 

 368 pages
William Morrow Paperbacks (September 25, 2018)

Readers who love Susan Wiggs and Susan Mallery will adore New York Times bestselling author Mary McNear newest novel. A young woman travels home to Butternut Lake, confronting her past and the tragedy she and her friends have silently carried with them for over a decade while also facing an unknown future.

Butternut Lake is an idyllic place—but for one woman, her return to the lake town she once called home is bittersweet…

Sometimes life changes in an instant.

Quinn LaPointe grew up on beautiful Butternut Lake, safe, secure, sure of her future. But after a high school tragedy, she left for college and never looked back. Becoming a successful writer in Chicago, she worked to keep out the dark memories of an accident that upended her life. But now, after ten years, she’s finally returned home.

Butternut is the same, and yet everything is changed. Gabriel Shipp, once her very best friend, doesn’t want anything to do with her. The charming guy she remembers is now brooding and withdrawn. Tanner Lightman, the seductive brother of her late boyfriend, wants her to stick around. Annika Bergstrom, an old classmate who once hated Quinn, is now friendly. Everyone, it seems, has a secret.

Determined to come to terms with the tragedy and rebuild old relationships, Quinn settles into Loon Bay Cabins, a rustic but cozy lakeside resort, where she begins writing down her memories of the year before the accident. Her journey through the past leads her to some surprising discoveries about the present. As secrets are revealed and a new love emerges, Quinn finds that understanding the past is the key to the future.

 

My Rating:

Favorite Quotes:

 

Northern Superior High School had been built in 1930, when Americans still had a reverence for public education, and the two-story brick building, with a white stone arch over the entranceway and two white stone columns flanking it, spoke to the seriousness of the work to be done inside.

 

Her closest girlfriend, Katrina, referred to these relationships as Quinn’s “eleventh-month specials.” This wasn’t intentional on Quinn’s part. It wasn’t as if she kept an eye on the calendar as the anniversary of their first date approached. It was more like an inner mechanism of hers sensed a shifting of the light, a changing of the seasons. Either way, she was apt to end things before the earth had made a full rotation around the sun.

My Review:

 

This is one of those books that is hard to put down as I sense something important to the plot is coming that I really need to know and it is right around the corner, and it was true, but there are several more somethings, and then a few more I wasn’t expecting. I went at this book like an alcoholic on a binge as I couldn’t find a stopping place, nor would I have been willing to stop had I found one. Ms. McNear’s compelling characters and insightful and emotive writing held me in place and while it wasn’t a thriller or a suspenseful read, my curiosity was tripped while my heart was being mercilessly squeezed.   This was the second well-textured and maddeningly paced book of Ms. McNear’s that I have devoured – and in much the same manner. I am greedy for all her words as this talented scribe has strong word voodoo.   I was provided with a review copy of this excellent book by HarperCollins and TLC Book Tours.

About Mary McNear

Mary McNear, New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of the Butternut Lake series, writes in a local doughnut shop, where she sips Diet Pepsi, observes the hubbub of neighborhood life, and tries to resist the constant temptation of freshly made doughnuts. Mary bases her novels on a lifetime of summers spent in a small town on a lake in the northern Midwest.

Find out more about Mary at her website, and connect with her on Facebook and Twitter.

 

Book Review: Christmas on Lily Pond Lane By Emily Harvale

 

 

Christmas on Lily Pond Lane

By Emily Harvale

Amazon US / UK 

 

Snow is falling in Little Pondale, lights are twinkling and the smell of pine trees and roasting chestnuts fills the air …

But Mia Ward is in a bit of a jam. She’d planned to rent out Corner Cottage for Christmas but thanks to best friend, Ella Swann, it’s double-booked. Now Mia’s got to let one ‘party’ down, or find another cottage – fast.

Best friends and single mums, Cathy Cole and Christy Franks want their kids to have an old-fashioned Christmas. Ice-skating, carol singing, making decorations, and tobogganing are on their list of festive fun and Little Pondale is the perfect place. Especially as it has no mobile phone reception. That will make it harder for Cathy to be found.

City banker, Leo Hardman is wondering if renting a cottage for Christmas as an anniversary surprise for his parents, was such a good idea. Little Pondale may be where his parents met, but his mum doesn’t seem pleased to be back, and his brother, Hal isn’t happy that the village is so tiny and only has one pub.

Meanwhile, Jenny Lake is settling in at her cousin’s bakery, having left her (broken) heart in Florence, but Christmas was never her favorite time of year. And Reverend Glen Fox has taken over at St Michael and All Angels. He’s glad it’s a temporary post because village life is not for him.

But luckily, for locals and visitors alike, there’s a sleigh-load of Christmas magic heading for Lily Pond Lane; enough to put a sparkle in everyone’s festive season. Although Christmas may not go quite as each of them has planned.

My Rating:

Favorite Quote:

 

I’ve got the kind of voice that makes a dog sound like a prima donna. Believe me, no one wants to hear me sing. Although I could make you a fortune if people had to pay to get me to stop.

My Review:

Reading this book gave me a contented and relaxed feeling, similar to that satisfying sense of pleasure felt after a good stretch or peaceful sigh. It was quick and enjoyable read and if you haven’t read the previous books in the series, this may pluck at your curiosity and lead you to do so. It will also put you in a festive frame of mind, even though it was months ahead of the holiday season when I read it. Love and good cheer were in the air of Little Pondale and visitors and residents alike are pairing off and getting all loved up during the week leading up to Christmas. Surprises always seem to be on the menu for this group and one visitor gave the gossipy old dear Heddie an eye-popping secret to expose. I adore these characters and this sweet series.

 

Author Bio –

Having lived and worked in London for several years, Emily returned to her hometown of Hastings where she now spends her days writing… and chatting on social media. Emily is a Member of the SoA, a PAN member of the RWA and a Pro Member of ALLi. She’s an Amazon bestseller and a Kindle All-Star. Emily loves writing and her stories are sure to bring a smile to your face and a warmth to your heart.


Emily says, “I write about friendship, family and falling in love. I believe in happing endings.” When she isn’t writing, she can be found enjoying the stunning East Sussex coast and countryside, or in a wine bar with friends, discussing life, love and the latest TV shows. Chocolate cake is often eaten. She dislikes housework almost as much as she dislikes anchovies – and will do anything to avoid both.

Social Media Links –  https://www.facebook.com/emilyharvalewriter

https://www.twitter.com/emilyharvale

https://www.instagram.com/emilyharvale

 

 

Book Reviews: Cupid F*cks Up, and My T(r)oyboy is a Twat by Paula Houseman

Cupid F*cks Up

by Paula Houseman

Amazon UK  / US  / B&N

 

Ruth Roth is a straight shooter. Pity Cupid’s not.

Smart-mouth Ruth is an inspirational humor columnist for a popular women’s magazine. Recently divorced, she has found the love of her life. Without any help, mind you, from the little fat love god. Ruth has decided she herself is her one and only.

And she’s in a comfy place. Why wouldn’t she be? No need to yell ‘Put the bloody toilet seat down!’ No need to hoover toe-nail clippings off the carpet.

But then a silver-tongued Prince Charming fronts up in his shiny Merc and tickles her discarded, little-girl fantasies. He tells her their love is written in the stars.

It must be a misprint.

A romance with this particular PC is not so PC! Still …

Ruth’s life plays out more like ancient myth than fairytale. And what hot-blooded woman can resist forbidden fruit?

There’s a problem, though. Ruth does not have a hot-blooded mum. Ruth has a pain-in-the-arse mum whose squawking disapproval cranks the taboo up a notch.

All the more reason to take up with the stud! But it means taking on the harpy.

Tensions mount, and even Ruth’s man can’t protect her from the trash-talking voices in her head. It looks like he can’t muzzle his own either. When an earth-shattering revelation causes him to give her grief, it makes her feel like she’s dating her mother.

Taking the kind of advice she doles out to her readers is not so easy, and Ruth wonders if this love can survive. More to the point, is it worth the trouble?

 

My Rating:

Favorite Quotes:

 

Finding out he was adopted was bittersweet for Ralph. Bitter, because he felt betrayed by his adored and adoring adoptive mother, who withheld such important information from him. But sweet, because it meant he wasn’t swimming in the same shallow, fetid gene pool as the other idiots in his family— his father, his younger whiney sister, Louise (Louwhiney), and his two brothers, george and simon (who, according to Ralph, had no brains, miniscule penises, and were too common to be worthy of majuscule letters at the beginning of their names).

 

Unlike Xena, Warrior Princess —who slept in an ice cave for twenty-five years— I’d developed some pampered princess tendencies. I was now more Worrier Princess.

 

But the award for unrivalled faux pas went to Sylvia… ‘My son the doctor did all he could,’ she told them. I didn’t think it was the right time to correct her. (Myron was a dentist. He had fallen short of Sylvia’s dream of him becoming a doctor, but she regularly cashed in on his title, Doctor Roth.) Chalky-skinned, she dabbed at her weepy eyes with a tissue. She regained her composure and continued. ‘Myron tried to revive his father with artificial insemination.’

‘You could have called me,’ she accused. ‘I might have been dead on the floor like your father was. I could have composted.’ … ‘I think you meant decomposed.’

 Casper liked watching the occasional scary movie… Casper assured me he felt loved and wouldn’t become Freddy Krueger. With his powers of persuasion, I worried that he’d become a lawyer or a politician instead.

My Review:

 

While still cleverly amusing, this book was considerably more angsty with relationship and family issues and more introspective and emotive than the first in the series.   Ruth and Ralph were both laboring through significant life events, transitions, and revelations. There were several emotional teeter-totters and periods in the story where Ruth was shrewish and cruel; I wanted to pull her hair.   Ruth’s procrastination and on and off attempts at soul-searching on her journey of empowerment was entertaining but not without hiccups. Romance was all around for the group and I was all swoony over Ralph, although he could have also used a few kicks to dislodge his cranium from his gluts. This has to be the quirkiest cast of characters ever assembled and they continue to intrigue and expand with the oddest of eccentricities. The introduction of the colorful and peculiar character of Hector yielded an entirely new level of rib-tickling levity.

My T(r)oyboy is a Twat

by Paula Houseman

Amazon UK / US B&N

 

Love, romance, marriage, and a dark little secret. Shh … Small things let loose can grow out of hand.

Ruth Roth’s new husband can’t keep it in. If only he had all those years ago, things might be different now.

His big mouth sends every family member into hell. Except for Ruth’s late mother. She blows in from there. Seems the woman just won’t die. Or let up. Faaaark!

As if Mama’s ear-bashing isn’t enough, everyone else needs a scapegoat. Ruth is it. Somehow, this mess is her fault.

With everything falling apart, she feels overwhelmed. Until a hunky celebrity pants man—who clearly wants to get into hers—befriends her and makes her feel all warm and fuzzy. At the same time, an educated silicone seductress has designs on hubby.

Temptation abounds. But it’s overshadowed when a startling discovery throws Ruth and her man into uncharted waters, and life comes crashing down.

Ruth has survived plenty with the help of her friends. And as a writer, her wry wit, dirty muse, and a bent for ancient mythology have sustained her. This, though, might be her undoing.

 

My Rating:

Favorite Quotes:

 

‘Buyer’s remorse, I’ll bet! I did tell you, you should’ve lived with him first. It’s one thing to tolerate his particular brand of crazy when you’re not sharing a living space, but Ruthie, you should’ve insisted on a try-before-you-buy policy.’

 

Men want a happy ending; women want happily ever after.

 

My Review:

 

I struggled valiantly with this installment to the series as the main characters were struggling and the storylines were 75% angst, yet thankfully, the remaining 25% sparkled with Ms. Houseman’s unique form of wit, wry snark, and clever humor. Due to family issues, my newly beloved couple of Ruth and Ralph quickly dropped out of sync after their lovely wedding, and the fallout was heartbreaking and painful. Worse yet was the immature and baleful behaviors they fell into and couldn’t seem to slide out of. As I am no fan of angst, their suffering grew repetitive and tedious for me, although that is just my preference as I know lots of fellow readers who devour it like a lapsed dieter at a buffet. Despite my discomforts, Ms. Houseman often found inventive means of sprinkling humorous bits in the midst of their despair. R&R were able to pull it together and appeared stronger than ever when the story ended with yet another upending surprise. Write quickly Ms. Houseman, you have me fully invested and hopelessly addicted to this oddly quirky and habit-forming group of eccentrics.

New Aussie words for my expanding vocabulary list include “have Buckley’s” which Wiktionary defined as having no chance; and “Ocker” which Mr. Google indicated was the stereotype of the uncultured Austrian who tends to be crass, guzzle beer, and speak with a thick dialect. Is anyone else getting a sharp visual of Crocodile Dundee?

Author Bio – Paula Houseman was once a graphic designer. But when the temptation to include ‘the finger’ as part of a logo for a forward-moving women’s company proved too much, she knew it was time to give away design. Instead, she took up writing.

She found she was a natural with the double entendres (God knows she’d been in enough trouble as a child for dirty wordplay).

As a published writer of earthy chick lit and romantic comedy, Paula gets to bend, twist, stretch and juice up universal experiences to shape reality the way she wants it, even if it is only in books. But at the same time, she can make it more real, so that her readers feel part of the sisterhood. Or brotherhood (realness has nothing to do with gender).

Through her books, Paula also wants to help the reader escape into life and love’s comic relief. And who doesn’t need to sometimes?

Her style is a tad Monty Pythonesque because she adores satire. It helps defuse all those gaffes and thoughts that no one is too proud of.

Paula lives in Sydney, Australia with her husband. No other creatures. The kids have flown the nest and the dogs are long gone.

Social Media Links –

Twitter: https://twitter.com/paulahouseman

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/PaulaHouseman

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PaulaHousemanAuthor

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/paulahouseman

 

Book Review: Odyssey In A Teacup (Ruth Roth #1) by Paula Houseman 

Odyssey In A Teacup

Ruth Roth #1

by Paula Houseman 

 

Amazon US / UK  / B&N

A tut-tutting, big-breasted, modern-day gorgon; a humorless schoolmarm with an unfortunate name and freakishly long, yellow incisors (yeesh)—these are the kinds of people Ruth Roth regularly encounters. Add in daily dealings with an acerbic mother who squawks like a harpy, a father with a dodgy moral compass and a God complex, a bitchy mirror, and Ruth’s existence feels like a Greek tragicomedy.The idiocy of daily life makes sense to Ruth when she develops a fascination with ancient mythology. She learns that the deviant gods and spectacular monsters of bygone myths are alive and well in the backwoods of our psyche; that there’s always one who escapes suppression and can have the whip hand in our lives. Ruth’s is one of the most unwelcome societal presences—the goddess of obscenity. And talk about ugly!

Ruth can relate to this immortal. Not in looks; Ruth is quite comely. But she feels unwelcome in her own family (she gatecrashed her mother’s womb only two months after her brother vacated it). Despite being labeled the ‘black sheep’, or maybe because of it, Ruth takes on her nemeses, bravely and brazenly (her dirty goddess doesn’t give a rat’s about social niceties). But our heroine is war-weary. And the yearning to fit in somewhere—anywhere—eventually undoes her. We must look on helplessly as Ruth loses her soul.

She wants it back, though!

Just as well the mad characters in her mind and experiences won’t quit. Just as well Ruth never loses her wry wit. And where her nearest and dearest attempt to keep her shrunken into a wholesome package of conformity, Ruth’s two closest girlfriends simply won’t allow it. And then there’s Ralph Brill.

Ruth’s hot-looking, eccentric cousin and best friend, Ralph is her staunchest ally. Also a misfit in his family, he has his share of problems including a st-t-t-tuttering brutish father, and an obsessive-compulsive personality disorder—Ralph needs to do everything twice, twice.

Ruth relies on his repeated encouragement and the support of her girlfriends as she embarks on an odyssey. A good homeopathic dose of ancient mythology helps her find her way back through the sludgy shame and irrational fears choking her spirit. Then just when all seems well, Ruth faces an apocalypse …

My Rating:

Favorite Quotes:

 

Ralph staunchly and compassionately defended his brothers: ‘They’re only aggressive because they’ve got such über-small penises.’

 

I was learning about ancient Greece in history class. Greek mythology was a very large component of this because my teacher had a passion for it. His name was Zero Kosta … poor bastard… this man must have truly felt like he was worth nothing from the get-go. Suddenly, my name didn’t seem so bad. I think Mr Kosta had first- hand knowledge of ancient times because he looked like he was raised from the crypt. He was cadaverous.

 

In our family, Joe had a special aptitude for farting. And he was renowned for it in the Jewish community. There were whispers: Psst, did you hear what Joe Roth did during the visiting dignitary’s speech? What chutzpah! Still, never heard anything like it before! and, That’s Ruth Roth. Her father’s the one who farts in public. This earned him the nickname ‘Joe Blow’ (clever, but also dumb because he was anything but your average Joe).

 

If the eyes are the window to the soul … what if someone’s cross-eyed? Is that like looking through a bay window?

 

When I was seven, Joe backed up against my freshly ironed school shirt, which was hanging on the linen closet door. He deposited a fart in the shirt pocket. ‘For safekeeping,’ he’d said. The teachers didn’t think it was too funny that day when I told them I had a fart in my pocket.

 

My Review:

 

Paula Houseman is found treasure. My face kept a near-constant smirk and my reading of this vibrant and cleverly amusing story was frequently and forcefully interrupted, as I was laughing so hard I could not see. I adored it start to finish and had 5 pages of favorite quotes. The book was packed with a full cast of peculiarly eccentric, neurotic, and quirky characters who had starring roles in Ruth’s memories of her most calamitous and psyche-scarring life events. The storylines and writing were highly entertaining and I was hard pressed to put my Kindle down. Her father’s legendary flatulence issues alone caused several bouts of giggle-snorting.   Ms. Houseman is my new favorite author and I will fangirl her hard. I am thrilled to have two more of her masterworks on my Kindle, but I cannot imagine how she could possibly top the humorous storytelling of this one. And I have doubled my newly established Aussie Vocab List with the new entries of furphies – which are erroneous stories; fossick – to rummage or search; stoush – a commotion or dust-up; and Strine – the English language as spoken by Australians as well as their accent.

 

 

Author Bio 

 Paula Houseman was once a graphic designer. But when the temptation to include ‘the finger’ as part of a logo for a forward-moving women’s company proved too much, she knew it was time to give away design. Instead, she took up writing.

She found she was a natural with the double entendres (God knows she’d been in enough trouble as a child for dirty wordplay).

As a published writer of earthy chick lit and romantic comedy, Paula gets to bend, twist, stretch and juice up universal experiences to shape reality the way she wants it, even if it is only in books. But at the same time, she can make it more real, so that her readers feel part of the sisterhood. Or brotherhood (realness has nothing to do with gender).

Through her books, Paula also wants to help the reader escape into life and love’s comic relief. And who doesn’t need to sometimes?

Her style is a tad Monty Pythonesque because she adores satire. It helps defuse all those gaffes and thoughts that no one is too proud of.

Paula lives in Sydney, Australia with her husband. No other creatures. The kids have flown the nest and the dogs are long gone.

Social Media Links –

Twitter: https://twitter.com/paulahouseman

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/PaulaHouseman

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PaulaHousemanAuthor

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/paulahouseman

Book Review: I Know You Know by Gilly Macmillan

 I Know You Know

by Gilly Macmillan

HarperCollins | Amazon | B & N

Paperback: 384 pages
 Publisher: William Morrow Paperbacks; Reprint edition (September 18, 2018)

From New York Times bestselling author Gilly Macmillan comes this original, chilling and twisty mystery about two shocking murder cases twenty years apart, and the threads that bind them.

Twenty years ago, eleven-year-olds Charlie Paige and Scott Ashby were murdered in the city of Bristol, their bodies dumped near a dog racing track. A man was convicted of the brutal crime, but decades later, questions still linger.

For his whole life, filmmaker Cody Swift has been haunted by the deaths of his childhood best friends. The loose ends of the police investigation consume him so much that he decides to return to Bristol in search of answers. Hoping to uncover new evidence, and to encourage those who may be keeping long-buried secrets to speak up, Cody starts a podcast to record his findings. But there are many people who don’t want the case—along with old wounds—reopened so many years after the tragedy, especially Charlie’s mother, Jess, who decides to take matters into her own hands.

When a long-dead body is found in the same location the boys were left decades before, the disturbing discovery launches another murder investigation. Now Detective John Fletcher, the investigator on the original case, must reopen his dusty files and decide if the two murders are linked. With his career at risk, the clock is ticking and lives are in jeopardy…

My Rating:

Favorite Quotes:

 

If you can control where an interview takes place, you are part of the way to controlling the interview itself. Location matters. Fletcher’s wife announced she was leaving him when they were in the Costco car park. He didn’t see it coming. He remembers acutely the humiliation of loading bags into the boot of the car while she explained across the laden shopping trolley that their marriage was over. “Well, why are we buying in bulk then?” was all he could think to ask.

 

It’s a resting place for cold cases, and Fletcher thinks of it as an archive of failure. For every high-profile solve, there’s an unsolved crime shelved here. In each tidily filed box, Fletcher thinks, there are not just papers, photographs, and other case materials, but other things, invisible things. There are traces of the open emotional wounds an unsolved crime leaves on the families and detectives affected by it. There is also the shadow of something more rotten: the person who got away with it.

 

Like a nodding dog ornament on a dashboard, she moves her head laboriously to look at Danny. Everything she does is so slow it makes Fletcher’s joints feel as if they’re liquefying under the strain of being patient.

 

I said you’re a prat, John Fletcher. Always have been, always will be. I’m fed up of you strutting about like you own the place when you passed your sell-by date years ago. The only time I’ll look forward to seeing you will be at your retirement party.

 

I did a bit of unscientific research on the subject—by which I mean to say that I looked it up on the internet…

 

My Review:

 

I was unprepared for the twists and turns of the diabolically clever Gilly Macmillan. Her fascinating yet despicable characters were as compelling as the well-crafted storylines they inhabited. They squeezed then broke my heart while holding me captive to my Kindle as I hissed and huffed my distress. No one was innocent, except for the condemned patsy, and no one was as they had initially appeared, it was brilliant.

 

Gilly Macmillan has strong word voodoo. Cunningly woven into this adroitly written book were the gut-churning savagery of children, blackmail, police coercion, nefarious manipulations, greed, ambition, corruption, and desperation. The writing was exquisitely nuanced, the wily characters were deeply damaged and irreparably flawed yet keenly described and depicted in a cleverly magnetizing manner. It was riveting, yet tragic and heartbreaking. I was enthralled and even though she turned me inside out, I covet her mad skills and greedily want all her words.

 

New additions to my Brit Vocab list include tearaways which Mr. Google tells me is a wild or reckless person; bung which is a bribe or payoff; and cobblers which apparently has two meanings as it is nonsense to some, and testicles to the Cockneys – although those two things are pretty much the same thing to me 😉

I was provided with a review copy of this stunningly well-crafted book by HarperCollins and TLC Book Tours.

 

About Gilly Macmillan

Gilly Macmillan is the Edgar Nominated and New York Times bestselling author of What She Knew. She grew up in Swindon, Wiltshire and lived in Northern California in her late teens. She worked at The Burlington Magazine and the Hayward Gallery before starting a family. Since then she’s worked as a part-time lecturer in photography, and now writes full-time. She resides in Bristol, England.

Find out more about Gilly at her website, and connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

Book Review: Flow (Men of Inked: Southside 2) by Chelle Bliss

Flow

(Men of Inked: Southside 2)

by Chelle Bliss

Release date: 2nd October

Genre: Contemporary Romance

Add to your TBR

Flow is the second book in the new, steamy Southside series by USA Today bestselling author Chelle Bliss.

Be ready for a hot, wild ride with the Gallo’s on the Southside

 

FLOW

❥ iBooks→ apple.co/2Mb4jW0

❥ Kindle → amzn.to/2n6lwoI

❥ Nook→ bit.ly/2NZJugO

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❥ Paperback amzn.to/2LLJjZP

**buy the 📚, get the  📱 for FREE!

❥ Amazon UK→ amzn.to/2NfyiAQ

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The moment I looked into his eyes, I knew I was in trouble.
The second I heard his name, I knew I should stay away.
.
Our fathers were mortal enemies—Chicago crime bosses from rival families.
.
But that didn’t stop Leo Conti from pursuing me.
Being together was dangerous, reckless, and totally hot.
He wanted me. I wanted him.
.
Nothing could possibly go wrong, right?

.

My Rating:

Favorite Quotes:

 

They say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but I disagree. My father learned; he just ignored the hell out of the lessons…

 

No other woman, besides my mother, scares the crap out of him quite like his sister. She’s a tiny thing, but man, the mouth on her gives me life goals.

 

“You’re going to need to cut down on your stress as soon as possible. Also, add some fiber to your diet. You’re constipated, which made the cramping worse than normal.” Daphne shoots me a death glare. “Bella… I always knew you were full of shit, but now the doctor’s confirmed it.”

 

“Your father wants to elope to Vegas and be married by an Elvis impersonator.” She rolls her eyes… “An ex-mobster in a gangster town is not a smart combo, dear.”

 

My Review:

 

Family drama plays heavy in this volume featuring the snarky drama queen of Daphne, who finds herself inexplicably drawn to the son of her father’s chief rival. Humor, angst, and sensual sizzle were well balanced throughout this smirk-worthy and engaging read. I adore Ms. Bliss’s bawdy humor and alluring characters. I am already feeling greedy for the next installment.

 

 

Maneuver (Men of Inked: Southside 1)

Available Now

❥Paperback: https://amzn.to/2m1NL7o

**buy the 📚, get the 📱 for FREE!

Meet the Author

USA Today bestselling author Chelle Bliss currently lives in a small town near the Gulf of Mexico. She’s a full-time writer, time-waster extraordinaire, social media addict, and coffee fiend. She’s written over ten books and has two series available. She loves spending her free time with her boyfriend, 2 cats, and her hamster.
Before becoming a writer, Chelle taught high school history for over ten years. She holds a master’s degree in Instructional Technology and a bachelor’s in History. Although history is her first love, writing has become her dream job and she can’t imagine doing anything else.