Can I Give My Husband Back?
by Kristen Bailey
I thought I was sorted on the life front. I was a heart surgeon with a loving partner and two gorgeous little girls. Except my husband’s version of ‘loving’ is lying, cheating, and sleeping his way around London. Which means I definitely deserve a refund.
Unfortunately, moving on isn’t that simple. Just because I know how to operate on a heart doesn’t mean I know how to fix my broken one. Plus, I lost the receipt for him years ago so I’m definitely getting short-changed.
But now I’m single, am I ready to mingle? There are a few minor issues:
1) The last time I went on a date double denim was in fashion and my eyebrows were horrendously overplucked.
2) Men wear stupidly skinny jeans now.
3) I don’t know how to use dating apps but at least I don’t have to get changed out of my pyjamas.
4) Sometimes the most promising thing you have in common with a guy is a shared love of prawns.
5) I don’t know whether to open a date with ‘hi’ or ‘hello’ or ‘hey’ and once I ended up saying ‘howdy’.
Everything happens for a reason, they say. There’s plenty more fish in the sea. But what happens when everything falls apart and you haven’t got a clue how to go fishing?
An absolutely hilarious and utterly relatable tale for anyone who has ever survived a nightmare relationship, felt a little lonely or nursed a broken heart with wine and carbs. This feel-good novel will get you back on your feet and genuinely laughing out loud. Perfect for fans of Why Mummy Drinks, Sophie Ranald, and Sophie Kinsella.
My Rating:
Favorite Quotes:
“I could be kidnapped and killed for my body parts. Look after my girls. Make sure Si doesn’t ruin them.” “Two things: Don’t mention that man’s name to me. And you’re too old to be kidnapped. Your organs would be a hard sell.”
She looks like the eighties ate her up and spat her back out again. That’s some slick hair and a strong shoulder. She stands on my doorstep expecting to be invited in; I’m pretty sure that’s what you traditionally have to do with vampires.
‘I also don’t eat blueberries, for future information,’ I carry on. ‘But blueberries are delicious?’ ‘My sister once told me they are Smurf testicles so I can’t bring myself to eat them now.’
He normally wears glasses but Meera didn’t want them in her photos so forced him to wear contact lenses for the first time. So the poor boy’s eyes are bulging like his pants are too tight.
… she told the thirty-odd people present that she was glad she didn’t marry me because I’m very hairy and she didn’t want my furball babies.
My Review:
This was a wicked funny tale laced with all varieties of humor from acerbic snark to highly comical events and everything in between. I haven’t had this much fun giggle-snorting into my Moscato in ages. While there were also parts of the storylines that were quite tragic as the loathsome husband was an unrepentant serial adulterer, the writing sparked with clever wit and wry humor. I was frequently smirking and a few times nearly apoplectic with laughter.
Being more prone toward the Lorena Bobbitt methodology for dealing with such issues, I was occasionally impatient and annoyed with the main character’s spineless inability to face her husband’s blatant and repeated infidelities as well as her overly forgiving nature once she finally did so, I still appreciated her journey and reveled in the manner her sisters and friends were shoring her up which enabled her to retrieve her own identity and sense of worth. Every single character was riotously amusing with my favorite being the fierce and mischievously salacious younger sister Lucy, whom I hope to see featured in her very own book soon with more Frozen Fiesta Fracas adventures.
Mother-of-four, gin-drinker, binge-watcher, receipt hoarder, enthusiastic but terrible cook. Kristen also writes. She has had short fiction published in several publications including Mslexia & Riptide. Her first two novels, Souper Mum and Second Helpings were published in 2016. In 2019, she was long-listed in the Comedy Women in Print Prize and has since joined the Bookouture family. She hopes her novels have fresh and funny things to say about modern life, love, and family.
You can find out more about her on Twitter (@mrsbaileywrites), Instagram (@kristenbaileywrites), and Facebook.
Great review! I love a story that will give me a good laugh.
I love your review. If the story makes me laugh half as much as you do, I’m sure it’s a good one. 😉
This seems like a funny book.
This seems like a great read! The title made me chuckle.
You had me at the title. I need this one, need a good laugh.
Love a book that gives me a good laugh! Will check to see if my library has it!
I have to read this immediately now.
Well… this sounds like fun!
I’m so glad it was funny. I see a lot of these books stating they are funny but I read them and don’t even crack a smile. This looks good. Great review.
Ha – love that title. Nice that it was funny too!