Shelf Awareness
by Katie Ashley
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“Don’t miss this hilarious and sweet adventure in the Green Valley Library series. Five Stars!”–Aleatha Romig, New York Times bestselling author
Shelf Awareness, an all-new hilarious romantic comedy from New York Times bestselling author Katie Ashley is available now!
After catching her husband in a compromising position, Finley Granger finds herself in a new hell: reentering the dating world. When she moves in with her grandmother, her great-aunt, and their best friend, Finley finds herself surrounded by a trio of well-meaning yet bumbling matchmakers.
In spite of their efforts, Finley only has eyes for one person, and that’s Zeke Masters—the 6’4”, impossibly built, and ridiculously good-looking new man in town. Along with her nether regions, Finley’s journalistic spidey-senses tingle as to why he’s on sabbatical from Seattle. Is he on the lam or escaping a bad breakup? What’s his story?!?!
As Finley finds herself reluctantly drawn to the gorgeous IT guy, she can’t help but wonder: should she indulge in a rebound tryst with the mysterious Zeke, or has she finally met her match?
‘Shelf Awareness’ is a full-length contemporary romantic comedy, can be read as a standalone, and is book #4 in the Green Valley Library series, Green Valley World, Penny Reid Book Universe.
Except
As Zeke worked on uploading the census records, I hoisted one of the many boxes from the Henderson’s donation onto the table. It kicked up an epic dust cloud. I reached inside to pluck out one of the moldering tomes of historical literature. Wrinkling my nose, I fought the urge to sneeze. Instead, I cleared my throat. When it still felt like I had swallowed a wad of sawdust, I coughed. And that was my grievous mistake.
The force of the cough dislodged the Ben Wa ball, sending it into an epic downward dive. Yes, ladies and gentlemen the Ben Wa ball had left the building. Whirling away from Zeke, I used my hand to try an inconspicuous crotch shuffle to send the ball back to its point of origin. What happened next was truly against the laws of motion. Because the universe apparently hated me, the ball escaped the confines of my thong. As it started its descent down my thigh, I squeaked and clamped my knees together.
“Are you all right?” Zeke asked behind me.
I threw a glance at him over my shoulder. “Uh, yeah, I . . .” Okay, I had no idea how I was going to get out of this one. It wasn’t like I could say, “Well, here’s the thing. The Ben Wa ball I was using to strengthen my pelvic floor muscles to keep my vagina healthy for the D just slipped out and is about to make a very unhappy trail down my leg.”
“I think a bug bit me or something.”
“Oh no. Want me to take a look?”
“No!” When Zeke’s eyes widened at my outburst, I said, “Sorry. I’m okay.”
“If you’re sure.”
“Totally.”
“I think I might’ve found something interesting for your research.”
The only thing I was interested in at the moment was getting the Ben Wa ball out of my pants without Zeke seeing it. “Oh?”
“I definitely see some Native American female names.”
Damn him for being enthusiastic about my research. The last thing I wanted to do was walk the couple of steps back over to him while trying to keep a Ben Wa ball from rolling down my pants leg. Since I couldn’t see any other way out of it, I nodded. Gritting my teeth, I started shuffling over to him.
When I started lurching like Frankenstein’s monster, Zeke tilted his head curiously at me. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yep. Totally fine,” I muttered.
Just as I reached his chair, my knee shifted because of what I imagined was panic sweat overtaking me. As the ball became dislodged, I bit down on my lip to keep from squealing again. There was no saving the ball now or my humiliation for that matter.
As soon as it plopped onto my shoe, I flung my foot, sending it ricocheting into the desk. Of course, it’s size caused it to make a tremendous ching-ching noise, which in turn caused Zeke to rip his attention away from the screen. “What was that?”
“What was what?” I questioned innocently.
He furrowed his brows at me. “You didn’t hear that noise?”
“Uh, no.” Plastering a smile on my face, I said, “I’m sorry. I was just so into what you were saying.”
Ignoring my response, Zeke quickly assessed the area around us. After I’d flung the ball away, it had come to a rest to the right of his desk chair. When he bent over to examine the ball, I inwardly began screaming noooooo while at the same time cursing Estelle for even bringing the Ben Wa ball into my orbit.
Since the universe hadn’t tortured me quite enough yet, Zeke picked up the ball. “Interesting,” he murmured as he twisted it between his fingers.
I decided it was best to play absolutely and completely clueless in this situation. “What is it?” Silently, I prayed he wouldn’t respond with, “It looks like one of those sex balls you shove up your cooch.”
“I don’t know. Maybe a part off one of the desks or chairs. I should probably give it to maintenance, so they can check all the furniture in here.”
Oh hell no. Without a second thought, I snatched the ball out of his hands. Since I did it rather abruptly, Zeke’s surprise was apparent on his face. Waving my free hand dismissively, I said, “Don’t bother yourself with that. I’ll take it to them.”
“Thanks, Finley.”
After wheezing out a breath, I replied, “You’re welcome.” I jerked my thumb over my shoulder. “I’ll go do that right now.”
I didn’t bother waiting for Zeke to reply. Instead, I power walked right out of the history room. I’m sure if he was watching me he would have been puzzled at my miraculous recovery, considering I’d been limping earlier.
At the first trash can I could find, I deposited the Ben Wa ball. It seemed abundantly clear that neither I nor my vagina were quite ready to handle the responsibility.
My Rating:
Favorite Quotes:
It was after watching one of my favorites, Waiting to Exhale, that I had a breakthrough. Sure, one might say rounding up your husband’s clothes to cut the crotches out of them was more of a breakdown than a breakthrough, but I didn’t care. I had a purpose.
“GramBea, while I might have an English degree, I’m a journalist and an editor, not a librarian.” In my mind, I couldn’t imagine a more depressing prospect. Nothing screams spinster like a librarian. I could literally feel my vagina shriveling at the sexless years ahead of it. Next, GramBea would be suggesting I go with her to The Beauty Mark to get my hair teased before joining her for shuffleboard.
Oh, no. There it was. The opening of the ex-files. I’m pretty sure bringing up the ex on a date was some sort of faux pas. Although I could have told the waitress to nix the wine out of respect for Marcus and his pain, I decided against it. My sixth sense told me I was going to need all the alcohol I could get.
Considering Estelle’s profession, I couldn’t imagine what kind of man she would come up with. Probably one who was vegan, wore sandals, and considered placing crystals on my body as foreplay.
My mouth gaped open. I glanced around waiting for the impending apocalypse brought on by Dot using the word hussy.
My Review:
This was a fun read and my first outing with the delightful Katie Ashley and I was enamored with her naughty wit, clever humor, and oddly beguiling characters. I adored the gentle giant of Zeke most of all. But I never would have imagined three eighty-something women would be providing a considerable share of the levity and comic relief, but they were exceptionally keen octogenarians and gifted with purse skills – think Golden Girls but in small-town Tennessee. Ms. Ashley is a wily minx.
Written in the first person POV of a painfully betrayed and heading for divorce thirty-year-old woman the narrative sang with levity, humorous inner musings, volcanic sensuality, and highly amusing observations. Even Finley’s more painful insights came with humorous notes. I frequently smirked and was pleasantly engaged and well entertained throughout.
Katie Ashley is a New York Times, USA Today, and Amazon Top Five Best-Selling author of both Indie and Traditionally published books. She lives outside of Atlanta, Georgia with her daughter, Olivia, her two rescue dogs named for Disney Princesses, Belle & Elsa, an out-numbered cat, Harry Potter, and one Betta fish. She has a slight obsession with Pinterest, The Golden Girls, Shakespeare, Harry Potter, and Star Wars.
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I love that you always add quotes from the books in your reviews
This sounds so fun and witty. Great review!
that banner 🙈
I do still need to read Mr. Strange Beard!
This looks perfect for me! Thanks for putting it on my radar!
I’m glad you enjoyed this one!
I love a good entertaining novel. Great review and nice excerpt too.
You seem to be loving this series.
Amazing review my friend, I’ve met Katie Ashley a couple of years ago at an author book signing and she was such a sweet and amazing person. I still haven’t read one of her books yet, but I hope one day I can read one of her book series soon. I am really glad you fully enjoyed reading this book. Thank you so much for sharing your awesome post.