The Letter – Kitty’s Story

 (Life on the Moors #1) 

by Eliza J. Scott

My Rating:

Favorite Quotes:

 

Trust me, if she was the last woman on earth, that’s all she’d be; I wouldn’t go anywhere near her. The human race would die out.

 

‘Don’t look at me as if I did it, you farty old bugger. It was your arse that shook the foundations, not mine, so take ownership, Humphrey Fairfax-Bennett.’ Humph’s ears twitched as he held James’s gaze. ‘What the hell have you been feeding him on, Kitty?’

 

She’s got the potential to eat you for breakfast, suck the meat of your very bones and spit them out by lunchtime.

 

I think it’s time we turned off the predictive text on Granny Aggie’s phone. It’s causing all sorts of rumours to fly around the village.’ Despite himself, Pip couldn’t help but laugh. Only last week his grandmother had sent a text to her equally antiquarian friend, Nellie, informing her that she’d seen her son, Mike, and Rev Nev in the village shop comparing penises. The communication had caused considerable outrage, followed by a flurry of hastily gathered explanations. The truth was harmless in contrast: she’d seen the pair in the village shop buying pens. There hadn’t been a penis in sight.

 

‘You’re thinking sex kitten, aren’t you?’ He placed a finger on his mouth and pouted. ‘More like a ropey old hooker with a bad case of trout-pout.’ Vi smirked.

 

And I’ve just had to have a word with Granny Aggie about a text she’d sent the vicar asking if he liked S and M cos she’d like to whip him. Poor man was terrified. Anyway, turns out she was telling him she’d bought some whipped cream from M and S for the scones she was making for the church coffee morning.’

 

Mind you, he hardly comes to bed dressed for a night of passion. The other night he excelled himself when he rocked up in a skin-tight tiger-print onesie the twins had bought for him for his birthday —as a joke I hasten to add, but Pip insists on wearing it. And you might imagine he couldn’t look any more ridiculous, but you’d be wrong. What he hadn’t realised was that there was a massive hole in the crotch area and his family jewels, in all their glory, were hanging loose and free. And I can promise you this, gravity has been no friend to Pip in that department.

 

My Review:

 

Although it started off with tense and stressful tones, this cleverly written this book was an unexpected delight. I never would have guessed from the first few tense chapters what a fun and witty tale it was actually going to be, as the character of Dan was thoroughly vile, on edge, and constantly belittling his family. He was also an arrogant and manipulative peacock who couldn’t keep his favorite toy in his pants. I instantly despised him although I initially didn’t hold much respect for the spineless and overly accommodating Kitty for allowing the heinous philanderer to verbally and emotionally abuse her and their children. Thankfully, the book soon evened out with juicy tidbits, insightful observations, and wry humor and I became more relaxed as Kitty began to gain awareness and locate her vertebrae.

 

The overall emotional tone tipped to the scales more heavily toward the comical than the tragic, with humorous anecdotes, cunning observations, and clever levity ruling the day. The engaging storylines were astoundingly well-constructed, shrewdly-paced, absorbing and highly eventful while jam-packed with a village full of colorful characters, hilarious antics, and riveting interactions. I was fully engaged throughout and enjoyed all the secondary characters, although I was more than a bit besotted with Kitty’s brother James.