The ABC’s of Dee
By Danielle Bannister
It always starts out so innocent. A drink, a laugh, a bet. For 40-year-old Dee Harper, her hum-drum life is about to become…educated.
When Dee’s wealthy friend, Gail, makes her a ridiculous bet, she never dreams she’ll actually go through with it. After all, dating 26 men in one year, from A-Z, is ludicrous. Right? Then Gail offers her fifty thousand dollars if she succeeds. Now that is an offer she can’t refuse.
From Adam the cocky limo driver to Kevin the klepto Dee learns the hard way what sort of guy she doesn’t want.
Filled to the brim with snark and sarcasm about the joys of dating ‘later in life,’ The ABC’s of Dee reminds us that even though life sometimes sucks, there is always someone there to laugh with.
“Poor guy has no idea what he is getting into. A four flame dish is probably not the smartest choice for someone who clearly doesn’t eat Indian food. I played it safe and got chicken pakoras. No farts-of-fire for me tonight.”
“The soup has reached ideal drinking hotness. To ignore that would be a disservice to soups across the world, and I’m annoyed that you’re not enjoying the perfection with me and are instead choosing to judge me.”
“Gail gasps looking down to see my Wonder Woman undies. (Shut up, they’re awesome). ‘She will never let you live that down, you know?’”
“I take my leave, happy to not have to endure the monster, and head into the kitchen and make the specialty tea that Mrs. Morgan insists on. No other tea is worthy of her palate. It takes all I have not to switch it out with Nestea just to prove her fancy-pants taste buds are wrong.”
At last! A witty, snarky, and highly entertaining story with a main character who is a woman in her forties that is not someone’s mother or ex-wife. Hurrah. She has a job, a functioning brain, a sense of humor, and is trying to have a romance, I know, it is practically unheard of! I enjoyed this amusing story beginning to end and maintained a smile throughout and may even have barked aloud and fist pumped a few times. The writing is crisp, insightful, clever, and well-paced. This is my first time reading Danielle Bannister, but it certainly won’t be the last, I have a new favorite!
Danielle Bannister lives with her two children in Midcoast Maine. She holds a BA in Theatre from the University of Southern Maine and her Masters degree in Literary Education from the University of Orono. She has written the Twin Flames Trilogy: Pulled, Pulled Back and Pulled Back Again, and a snarky Romantic Comedy called The ABC’s of Dee. She also has a collection of short stories called: SHORT SHORTS. In addition, her work can also be found in the following anthologies: 2012 Goose River Anthology, 2012 Writeous Anthology, 2013 Maine Writes: Maine National Writing Project Anthology; and, 2013 The Stroke of Midnight: A Supernatural New Year’s Anthology.