Ally has two children now too. Well, calling them children and not devil spawn is being generous. They are those kids. Those kids that make you want to lie down on the pavement and thank the lord Jesus that they are not yours. The kind that makes you want to stitch up your vajayjay and never let a man near you again.
I look around the general store and watch as old Mister Olsen edges closer to us. Sneaky old pervert, I can tell he is listening because he has had a can of cannoli beans in one hand and the price gun in the other, for the last two minutes.
I’ll go with you as back up. I know Karate!… Okay, that’s a lie. Christ! I’ve never actually done Karate, I had a huge man-crush on Ralph Macchio in my teens, and have seen the Karate Kid movies a hundred times. Not exactly the same thing though, is it?
He leans in close and whispers in my ear. ‘If the zombie apocalypse comes, he’ll still save us, don’t be worrying about that, ‘kay?’ I nod seriously and incline my head. ‘Wasn’t on my list of potential subjects to worry about, but, good to know.’
Fake Off was my first Michelle McLoughney experience, and make no mistake – it was an experience. I adored every cleverly written and naughty sentence. Packed with ribald humor and steamy sensual scenes, I snickered, smirked, and barked with laughter. Ms. McLoughney has an irreverent and bawdy sense of humor and does witty banter like no one else. Her characters were fun, smart, sassy, quirky, and flawed. Some were even a bit bizarre, but amusingly so. The grouping had been friends since childhood with the life-long moniker of The Misfits – which was how they had remained… it was oh so perfect. Cleverly written from a dual POV, the story was highly comical, erotically sensual, easy to follow, and unfailingly entertaining. It was also exactly what I needed after a mind-numbing week of jury duty.
Michelle McLoughney is an Irish author and child prodigy. That’s a lie. As a child, she pretended she was a prodigy, and also that her father was Ming the Merciless. Thus, a career in fiction was born, or, lying for a living. Whatever. Michelle writes books that have hot men and kick ass heroines. Also, books that have hot women and kick ass women. There’s a theme running here somewhere! Probably that hot kickass women should rule the world. Michelle likes cake and pie. In fact, she has never met a cake that she didn’t like, first world problems. Please connect with Michelle in any way you’d like. She’s a Facebook regular and appreciates the feedback. And cake. Send cake.